MeToo is here. Now, waiting for a #HowWillIChange movement
The #MeToo movement is not about publicity. It is about courage, raw courage in the face of absolute horror. Skeletons will tumble out of closets and yet there would be no proof in most cases to substantiate the claims.
The awkwardness that follows speaking up about sexual harassment when it comes to facing the world, including one’s own close circle, prevents many victims from coming out. As a result of this silence, people are left to suffer psychological scars. Most of these scars, however, heal with time but as long as they fester, they impact personality development, cloud future relationships, and ensure the survivor suffers pessimism and depression.
A mental health expert may probably address these issues by urging people to open up, accept the reality and make an effort to move on.
Opening up to a trained therapist may help a survivor develop a subjective overview of the situation disassociating oneself from personal shame, self blaming.
The victims may demonstrate variations of Stockholm Syndrome or Post-traumatic stress disorder. The best way a society can accept responsibility is by owning up. No, not every man is guilty but by acknowledging the wrong happening around us and by calling out the perpetrators, men can help correct a lot many wrongs that may have happened and probably, prevent its recurrence.
India woke up to #MeToo about a week back in a big way. Heads have rolled and tweet after tweet reputations have been laid to dust. Not all of it will have any real repercussions on the parties involved but that is not the point. The point is that at least some have come forward with apologies.
It takes huge courage to own up, that 'I' slipped. That courage bolsters the courage of the victims who have opened up. So, without naming anyone, we owe a thank you to all those who have come forward.
As #MeToo troubled the collective conscience of the world about a year back, Australian journalist and screenwriter Benjamin Law called out for change under the hashtag # #HowWillIChange.
In the days that followed, a decent number of men demonstrated their support to the cause, took responsibility and proved how things can really change for women. Those who understand what women go through should know a thing or two about the necessity of change in attitude. While many would not have harmed any woman, by remaining aloof and silent they may have ended up tacitly supporting crass behaviour.
We are yet to see a hashtag similar to ‘How Will I Change' in India, there are doubts that any such attempt would materialise. It is not because of insensitivity.
Most are aware of the issues, they are sympathetic. They want to be part of the solution. A few would have known the pain of the survivors; some may have been personally affected. The problem has got more to do with society's views on and about a woman. Despite all our fancy data of development and progress, abuse of women is often swept under the carpet.
Dowry harassment, domestic and workplace violence, harassment, rapes, sexual abuse, molestations form a huge bulk of the statistics that make it to National Crime Records Bureau's volumes yearly, and remember only a fraction of these acts are ever reported.
Until and unless the majority view changes, it will be very difficult for people to come out and make an active effort to change themselves.
The stories that send shockwaves through newsrooms are about us, our society and societal outlook. Unless that changes, it is clear that no amount of legislation or campaigns is going to get us our 'How Will I Change' movement.