Pierce Brosnan, aka the one-time James Bond of the 007 franchise, arguably one of its most delish faces, which has been synonymous with high-end brands like the Omega seamaster watch, is staring at us from one of our national daily frontpages, gently nudging us to buy, wait, pan masala.
On the cover page of today's Times of India, the man who played James Bond, the globe-trotting, dashing, swashbuckling MI6 secret agent and super-spy, whose crumbling empire is not read according to his frequent flier miles on special planes, wants us to have pan masala, that ultimate decadent Oriental indulgence.
"Pehchan kamyabi ki", says the tagline.
Is this Brexit talking, or just Modi effect?
Pierce Brosnan in Pan Bahar ad. (Photo credit: Times of India) |
While you may chew on it, literally, Bond selling pan masala must be a milestone in the ego-wars that since followed our bumbling Independence. The Brits tried many ways to maintain the hold: James Bond being the smoothest example, the Booker prize being the stuffiest.
But now, Bond sells pan masala. Soon, we will see him cavorting in a chic Rajasthani fort wearing kurta, juti and urging us be authentic by chewing on betel nut. Is this Bond's second coming?
Indian Twitter, sick to the bone after prattling for or against the surgical strikes, had a good laugh this morning.
It's almost as good as a bit of historical and pop cultural masturbation, looking at an icon whose invincibility was thrust upon us like our hushed up libidos, doing what that paunchy, balding, slightly unmentionable uncle does all the time.
This is the sanskari license to kill, of course. James bhaiya, says so. Soon, his British passport will come wrapped in the Indian tricolour, and he'll play the villain in a post-Brexit where apna Agent Vinod, aka Phantom, aka Saif Ali Khan is the hero.
Or, would that be Bajrangi RAW agent Bhaijan?
Oh, and we know what Daniel Craig's future holds, don't we?
Twitter reactions:
Pierce Brosnan.Played James Bond.Endorses Pan Bahar.Licensed to kill.
— Ramesh Srivats (@rameshsrivats) October 7, 2016
Pierce Brosnan selling pan on the front page of the Times of India. The Asian Century is upon us. pic.twitter.com/Kj5nsLdkqj
— Iain Marlow (@iainmarlow) October 7, 2016
Priyanka Chopra chews Rajnigandha & now Pierce Brosnan chews Pan Bahar. Now I know why I am not successful, will start chewing gutka today.
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) October 7, 2016
OMG. There's a video too. UNESCO has voted this as the best video in Kanpur. https://t.co/iDCHi3E9NW
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) October 7, 2016
"The name is ...chomp...Brosnan...chomp chomp...Pierce...phthew...Brosnan." No wonder he's grown a beard! It'll be hard to live this down ???????? https://t.co/UDc6ZDkCOW
— Baijayant Jay Panda (@PandaJay) October 7, 2016
Once they made us chew cow & pig hide. Now we make them chew pan masala. Colonialism has come full circle with Pierce Brosnan & Pan Bahaar
— Arnab Ray (@greatbong) October 7, 2016
Pierce Brosnan is endorsing Pan Bahaar. Don't know about India but Kanpur has certainly established itself as a superpower.
— Aladdin (@Alllahdin) October 7, 2016
Gave up idea of being a standup comic after I saw #PierceBrosnan in a #PanBahar Ad. Told myself 'nah u can't top that! Not today, not ever!'
— Anshu Mor (@anshuMor) October 7, 2016
Client: the name of our brand is Bahar, Pan Bahar. PB in short. Ad agency: say no more#PanBahar #piercebrosnan pic.twitter.com/mXrkVtdPNS
— Rohit Kumar (@rohytkumar) October 7, 2016
.@PierceBrosnan Right now. pic.twitter.com/zuKfOcUFp9
— Smoking Skills (@SmokingSkills_) October 7, 2016
Pierce Brosnan in his never-before avatar. 'Desh Badal Raha Hai'. Next up, Leonardo Decaprio for TT underwear. #AchheDin pic.twitter.com/b8zD4BGoiA
— Amit Ganguly (@leosamit) October 7, 2016
Are we sure that it's Pierce Brosnan and not a fitter Kulbhushan Kharbanda? ???? https://t.co/KEbON3AY04
— Puddin' (@lady_gabbar) October 7, 2016
The cow belt heartily welcomes @PierceBrosnan to its fold. Better late than never !! pic.twitter.com/1p7V0rWMN1
— Sanjeev Singh (@sanjeevrsingh) October 7, 2016
The next Bond movie would have Brosnan chewing Pan Bahar and spitting at his rival to death.
— Debabrata Mohanty (@debabrata2008) October 7, 2016