For Beti Bachao, Beta Padhao: BJP MLA Ram Kadam needs to be condemned. Then sent to a gender sensitisation class
A lot of those slamming Kadam are asking if he would abduct a woman who was ‘his own sister’.
Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao, said the BJP. Beti Darao, Beti Uthao, heard party MLA Ram Kadam.
Kadam, the conscientious, dutiful legislator from Ghatkopar in Mumbai, recently told people they could approach him over any issue, including holy matrimony, and he would apparently help them, going to the extent of “abducting the girl if she said no”.
To this dark cloud of misogyny, the MLA added a sanskari silver lining: he would consult the boy’s parents, and provide abduction services only if they liked the girl.
Clearly, in Kadam’s world, women are trophies, to be conquered or kidnapped.
The concept of a girl’s free will, of her consenting to a marriage, of her right to reject or accept a suitor, does not seem to exist for the MLA.
In a country where women are attacked by “jilted lovers” almost every day, Kadam’s statements are not just dehumanising and disrespectful – they are utterly dangerous. The BJP leader made the remarks at a dahi handi event. He essentially told a bunch of young men that a woman saying “no” to them does not matter, they can always request “big brothers” for help, and abduction is a fair wooing tactic.
Kadam’s appeal was clearly made only to men.
For him, women seem to be commodities, not human beings who are also a part of his constituency, who could vote — or get disgusted and not vote — for him.
His statement shows that in his head, public spaces are boys’ clubs — the speech of an elected legislator is a man-to-man talk, and women figure nowhere as listeners or participants.
Even more troubling is the BJP’s reaction to this regressive display of sexism.
After a storm broke over Kadam’s remarks, he came up with the fairly predictable defence of being quoted out of context.
While not many seem to believe this, Kadam’s party has displayed touching faith in him. State BJP chief spokesperson Madhav Bhandari said: “He has said that his speech was distorted, and it was not the complete speech. We have accepted it.”
I said that every youth, whether it's a boy or a girl, should marry after taking their parents into confidence. After saying this, I took a long pause & someone from audience said something. I repeated that on mike & after that also, I spoke some more: Ram Kadam on his statement pic.twitter.com/BP7rMRFeFl
— ANI (@ANI) September 4, 2018
If there was something objectionable, there were several journalists & they would've paid attention. They didn't because they heard entire speech & not just a small video. Opposition leaders are making a 40-second clip viral on Twitter. That's creating a wrong impression: R Kadam pic.twitter.com/4VdpJlCEaY
— ANI (@ANI) September 4, 2018
Kadam is not the first BJP MLA who seems to be struggling with the concept of women being human beings.
In August, Gyan Dev Ahuja, of the JNU condom-counting fame, who is the BJP legislator from Ramgarh in Rajasthan, had said he would abduct “their girls” if Muslim men did not “return” women they had “lured away through love jihad”.
Again, we have big, strong, macho men settling matters among themselves, poor, little women merely being bargaining chips.
One of the most popular — and justifiably so — slogans of the BJP has been ‘Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao’. Under the party’s government, women hold two of the most important Cabinet portfolios — the foreign ministry, and for the first time in India’s history, the defence ministry.
Why is the BJP leadership not publicly condemning aspiring kidnappers like Ahuja and Kadam?
Kadam has demonstrated his capabilities for direct action amply in the past.
The MLA, who was once BJP leader Pramod Mahajan’s secretary, joined the MNS, was elected to the state Assembly on the party’s ticket in 2009, but then joined the BJP in 2014. In his illustrious career, he once put up posters asking for Mumbai’s Rajawadi hospital to be ransacked, attacked a BMC engineer for demolishing an illegal building, beat up a cop who tried to close a bar where Kadam was partying after hours, and assaulted a policeman in the Maharashtra legislative assembly. In fact, he was suspended from the Assembly for four years soon after getting elected in 2009, for beating up MLA Abu Azmi, who took his oath in Hindi instead of Marathi.
Even apart from these, the list of criminal cases against Kadam is long and interesting.
But he has a tender side too.
In 2016, when the country was struggling with demonetisation, Kadam celebrated his son’s birthday by gifting him a Mercedes. “#HappyBirthday to my dearest son @AumRKadam !!! This my loving gift for him !!!”, he had tweeted, along with a picture.
When a man of such astounding credentials threatens to abduct girls, the threat can’t be taken lightly.
Statements by the likes of Kadam and Ahuja show that not only do political parties need to condemn such remarks publicly, they need to hold gender sensitisation sessions for their leaders.
However, while the BJP is yet to even slam Kadam, some of the criticism that has come his way has also been problematic, and is a pointer as to why leaders make such statements in the first place.
Many users on social media have raised questions about whether Kadam would abduct girls if they were “his own sisters”.
That’s not the point, people.
Every woman, and not just one’s own sisters, mothers or daughters, deserves to be treated as an equal human being. Till the time men think different standards of behaviour apply to “their women” versus “other women”, no woman in this country will be safe.
Leaders make statements they think will make them popular among their constituents. If this is what the road to popularity looks like, it is high time men are educated about equality and real development.
For Beti Bachao, pehle Beta Padhao.
Please.