Why Rabri Devi wants desi and not mall-going bahus
It's difficult to decide what should be more worrying for prospective brides in Bihar - that they are being largely seen as either sanskari or the mall-going types (read immoral and loose), or the fact that former chief minister Rabri Devi is out on the hunt for bahus.
Ever since The Times of India reported that Rabri Devi, wife of RJD chief Lalu Prasad, is looking for "desi" girls for their two minister sons, Tej Pratap and Tejashwi Prasad Yadav, young women in Bihar don't know whether to run for cover miles away from the malls or to simply "thank their stars" and move ahead with their mall-going and cinema-watching spree.
During a celebration to mark the event of Lalu Prasad's 70th birthday at their residence on June 11, Rabri Devi, said she would not like cinema hall- and mall-going girls as her daughters-in-law. (Rabri's aversion to malls couldn't be more ironic because she and her sons own the land where Bihar's biggest mall is being constructed and incidentally is mired in allegations of corruption).
Irony apart, these were her exact words when asked what kind of bride she would like for her two sons: "Cinema hall aur mall jane wali ladki nahi chahiye. Ghar chalaane wali, bade buzurg ka aadar karne wali, jaise ki hum hain, waisi ladki chahiye. (I don't want cinema hall and mall-going girls. She should be one who can look after the house, respect elders, and manage outside work, just like me)."
Rabri Devi happens to be the first woman chief minister from Bihar, a description that will be stuck to her name not because she earned that position or fought hard to gain that but because she played the proxy CM in one of the most blatant political manoeuvrings in India.
RJD chief Lalu Prasad, when forced to quit as chief minister in 1997 after being chargesheeted in the fodder scam, managed to declare his unlettered wife Rabri Devi, as the chief minister. That everyone knew who was the real chief minister didn't matter much to the Indian democracy where both Bihar and Lalu Prasad's alleged corruption charges evoke more humour than anger or any serious action.
Prasad's political career has been an allegory of how-to-keep-the-empire-running-by-feigning-to be-a-buffoon. It's a meticulously cultivated image which till date has been serving its purpose apart from keeping everyone suitably entertained.
So when Rabri Devi was dragged from the kitchen to the state Assembly as the proxy CM, there were sporadic opposition and criticisms but no one, including political opponents and voters, cared much to grudge her the elevation.
And this despite everyone knowing who was the real "powerhead". Rabri Devi was "sanskari" enough not to disobey her husband although she went to the Raj Bhavan sobbing that she wouldn't take oath on the fateful day of July 25, 1997. She did take the oath eventually and served her duty as the wife of Lalu Prasad.
Two decades later, the woman wants equally "sanskari" bahus for her sons. "She should be one who can look after the house, respect elders, and manage outside work, just like me," she reportedly said.
But let's not condemn the woman alone. Is this not what all parents-in-search-of-brides in India believe in? It is futile to outrage over the former CM's comments in the deeply patriarchal structure of the Indian society, where women have been playing a greater role in perpetuating the tyranny of men.
Indians have become liberated enough to want their daughter-in-laws to go outside and earn but only to return to her kitchen in the evening. Those matrimonial ads (seeking fair-slim-convent-educated-homely brides) that have had feminists frothing with outrage for long are very much a part and parcel of a prejudiced India which takes its sanskari tag and right to dominate very seriously.
And it doesn't take a genius to figure that both men and women (including those who have been once a victim of the same patriarchy) perpetuates it on others.
Those who don't are held guilty of being "westernised".
Of course, nothing can be more disturbing than seeing women, many of who are public figures, having decided to don the role of moral police and protecting the traditional patriarchal social structures. But who are we to complain?
Welcome to sanskari land!