Why Nawazuddin Siddiqui withdrew his memoir
Nawaz has in the past been accused for slapping a woman, and kicking his own sister-in-law.
The week past - since actor Nawazuddin Siddiqui's memoir An Ordinary Life was released - has seen developments as dramatic as in a fast-paced movie. After both his former girlfriends accused him of lying and a lawyer demanded that the actor be booked for adultery and rape, Nawazuddin has tried to draw the curtain on the issue, tweeting that he was withdrawing his book.
I m apologising 2 every1 who's sentiments r hurt bcz of d chaos around my memoir #AnOrdinaryLifeI hereby regret & decide 2 withdraw my book
— Nawazuddin Siddiqui (@Nawazuddin_S) October 30, 2017
Nawaz's memoir, excerpts of which were widely republished by newspapers and websites until this week, seems to take an honest lens to the actor's life, examining everything from his professional struggles to his personal demons unsparingly.
However, while a perception drawn from excerpts quoted without context can be inaccurate, the actor's tone about the women in his life, including his wife, does seem less than flattering.
The controversies
Nawaz has claimed that his first girlfriend, Sunita Rajwar, ended their "deep, passionate love", because she wanted to "date someone successful, not a struggling, desperate actor who was out of work".
Soon after his book was released, Rajwar called it a work of "extraordinary lies". In a lengthy Facebook post, Rajwar said she had left Nawaz not because he was poor, but because of the "poverty of his thoughts".
She also accused Nawaz of being a "sympathy seeker", saying he does not hesitate using his complexion and his days of struggle to win himself some compassion.
In his memoir, Nawaz has talked of Rajwar painting little hearts on the walls of his house in what seems to be disarming honesty. He adds that after their break-up, he painted over all that graffiti in the hope of erasing Rajwar's memory from his heart.
However, Rajwar has claimed that all of this is made up.
Meanwhile, actor Niharika Singh, the other woman who finds a mention in Nawaz's memoir, said that he did not take her consent before choosing to write about her, and has lied about the details of their relationship.
"Nawaz and I had a brief relationship in 2009 during the making of Miss Lovely that lasted less than a few months. So today, when he paints me as a woman in fur, enticing him into her bedroom with candles, or desperately calling him and mailing other women on his behalf, I can only laugh. He obviously wants to sell his book and it would appear that he is willing to exploit and disrespect a woman just to do so. He has chosen to fabricate stories and manipulate a fleeting relationship," she said in a statement to a media house.
Singh also said she was not aware that Nawaz was married when she started seeing him.
The legal complaint
According to a media report, an advocate from New Delhi, Gautam Gulati, has complained to the National Commission for Women (NCW) against Nawaz, for outraging Niharika Singh's modesty.
Nawaz's book has a detailed description of the first time he went to Singh's house and the two made love.
"For the very first time I went to Niharika's house. I rang the doorbell, slightly nervous. When she opened the door, revealing a glimpse of the house, I was speechless with amazement. A hundred, or so it seemed, little candles flickered beautifully. She wore soft faux fur, looking devastatingly gorgeous, her beauty illuminated even more in the candlelight."
"And I, being the lusty village bumpkin that I am, scooped her up in my arms and headed straight for the bedroom. We made passionate love. And just like that, out of the blue, I began a relationship with Niharika Singh, a relationship which I did not know then would last for almost one and a half years."
Gulati has said that "for minting money and garnering free publicity for his book, the actor has bargained the modesty of a woman" and asked the NCW to give directions for booking Nawaz for rape, adultery and outraging the modesty of a woman.
Unsavoury details
It is too early to comment on whether Nawaz did lie, and the truth may well be impossible to ascertain. However, going by his own book, the actor's attitude towards women does not seem to be the best.
While he gloatingly recalls that a waitress in New York approached him, he describes in detail his breaking away from Suzanne, a woman from New Jersey. According to the book, Nawaz stopped communicating with this woman after he started seeing Singh. The actor's idea of break-ups seems to be that: "I did not respond, I did not have the courage to. I trusted my silence would convey what needed to be conveyed."
This is at a time the woman had stayed in Mumbai for a long time to be with him, and had gone back to get her visa formalities sorted.
The actor then talks of how Singh would communicate with Suzanne pretending to be him and hurt Suzanne, while he watched on in pain. Singh ultimately "made me end all correspondence with Suzanne forever, then and there. I was very sad" he writes.
That he could speak to Suzanne and make a clean breast of things seems not to have occurred to him.
In another part, Nawaz says, "But I was quite a selfish bastard. I had a plain aim: go to her house, make out and leave. I could not talk lovey-dovey too much. It finally struck her that I was a rascal who cared only for himself. (Actually, all the girls I have ever been with have had this same complaint about me. I would only come to them for my own needs. Otherwise, I might not even take their calls.)"
While one can say that the actor is being laudably honest about himself, he is in a position in which people can take inspiration from him, and some more contrition about using women like objects would not have been amiss.
Also, this honesty is preceded by the explanation that he became unemotional after his break-up with Rajwar. "I cut off my emotions like doctors sever an umbilical cord. I decided that I would never again be emotional in any relationship. And I kept my word. Never again did I allow myself to be vulnerable like that again, not even with my wife."
Past emotional hurt is the oldest excuse people have used for being selfish and irresponsible in relationships.
Also, Nawaz seems to randomly lay the blame of the collapse of his relationship with Rajwar at the door of another woman. "My exgirlfriend's flatmate was an attractive, modern and flamboyant actress called Achint Kaur who was quite popular at the time. I concluded that the only explanation for Sunita's abrupt goodbye was Kaur's influence."
Nawaz has been in the past booked for slapping a woman, and kicking his own sister-in-law. Maybe he could have been more circumspect in his book.
Rows after public personalities release memoirs are not uncommon. Nawaz's decision to withdraw his book, and his accompanying apology, might have been an attempt at damage control.
Whether it will prove to be enough remains to be seen.