Centre orders study of male child sex abuse: Time we woke up
Concrete data will hopefully make people face what is often turned a blind eye to.
Responding to an online petition, minister for women and child development, Maneka Gandhi, has ordered a study into male child sex abuse, inviting the floater of the petition to be part of the panel.
The step was long due. Concrete data will hopefully make people face what many turn a blind eye to – boys in India are at risk. The problem, however, is so underestimated, even delegitimised, that seeking or receiving help is near impossible.
The last time the government held a similar survey – 11 years ago – the figures thrown up were grim: one in every two children (53.22 per cent) in India reported facing some form of sexual abuse, and of these, 52.94 per cent were boys.
Yet, few discourses on sexual abuse count in the plight of boys, the assumption of “strength” that patriarchy imposes on them refuses space for vulnerabilities. Even the recent ordinance brought in by the Centre, in response to outrage over a series of rapes, provides death penalty for those convicted of raping, specifically, girls below 12 years of age. This is actually a regression – the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act, 2012, is gender-neutral.
Because a problem is not recognised, it is naturally not addressed. What it also does is deny victims the space to speak out, seek help, and heal. Ample research exists to show that men sexually abused as children grow up with shame and guilt, and with no help to understand or process their trauma, turn to self-harm or violence towards others.
Unable to speak out
The petition Gandhi took cognisance of was floated by film-maker Insia Dariwala. Dariwala and her husband are both child sex abuse survivors. The petition says: My husband and I have lived through an extremely painful process of coming to terms with our abuse. His, and the other stories I had heard from friends I knew, made me realise that even men can get sexually abused. Millions of men are living an isolated life of pain endured as children. Then why were their stories never told?”
After Dariwala started the petition last year, a social media campaign, EndTheIsolation, became viral. Never talking about sexual abuse can make people withdrawn, alienated. The campaign featured survivors who chose to speak out.
The accounts were chilling: “I was sexually abused at the age of 8 by a neighbour. As a male child I was always expected to be strong, never vulnerable.”
“I was 10-years-old when I was sexually abused for the first time. The abuser was unfortunately someone from my family.”
I was taken to a dark empty room in the huge family house. He then pulled down my pants, and abused me. #EndTheIsolation pic.twitter.com/89FGnUm8Ev
— End The Isolation (@endtheisolation) July 8, 2017
I withstood repeated rape over a period of two years. I was five years old then. #EndTheIsolation pic.twitter.com/Uwy3i3QCNI
— End The Isolation (@endtheisolation) July 8, 2017
I was sexually abused at the age of 8 by a neighbour. As a male child I was always expected to be strong, never vulnerable. #EndTheIsolation pic.twitter.com/x9zVJ1Hivj
— End The Isolation (@endtheisolation) July 8, 2017
Dariwala’s husband, Rajeev Pandey, the co-founder of The Hands of Hope Foundations, narrated to NDTV: “Indian males are not supposed to cry or complain. I was just five years old when I was repeatedly abused by a household help who promised to me teach how to ride a bike, just like my father.
“Then he’d take me to a room and abuse me. For years, I have been suspicious of people who have been nice to me. I have not been able to make friends or be in relationships,” said Pandey, 40, a writer for TV shows in Mumbai.
What needs to change
The same reasons that make it difficult for survivors to speak out shield and embolden abusers. Boys are supposed to be strong, conversations about sexual experiences are supposed to be macho "bro-talk", reporting abuse can make the victim seem less manly, or be perceived as homosexual and be ridiculed.
Last year, two boys in Mumbai – one 10 years old, another 13 – killed themselves after they were sexually abused. Another boy was raped for a year by 15 boys, before he confided in a friend, who spoke to an adult and a police complaint was lodged.
In the aftermath of the cases, a report in The Indian Express said: “Government hospitals believe sexual abuse of boys is reported less frequently than girls, because families are worried it will strip the boy of his 'manliness'."
An study on boys who were sexually abused, by the Indian Journal of Psychiatry, records the reactions of two sets of parents:
“He is a boy; he neither lost a hymen nor will get pregnant. He should behave like a man, not a sissy” (father of the victim).
“If he was a four-year-old girl, raped by two older boys, school would be afraid of a scandal, because he is a boy no one cares or accepts the crime” (father of the victim).
Thus, the victims are disadvantaged at both familial and institutional levels. The only thing that can help here are awareness campaigns that can make children understand what is happening with them and tell them it is okay to seek help, and sensitise adults to the risks that not just their daughters, but even sons are subject to sexual abuse.
Tougher laws can actually be counter-productive – an offence by a family member may not be reported if the consequence can be death penalty.
Any intervention in cases of sexual abuse should have the victim at its centre. Hopefully, the new study will outline the problem more clearly, and bring in better solutions.