#BlameOneNotAll: Should women now reward men for not raping them?

If our men do not rape women and give them due respect, it makes them worthy of applause. This is what someone thought when they devised the #BlameOneNotall.

At a time when the world is striving to have a gender-neutral society, a section is still stuck in the primitive mode of patronising men for the little mercies they bestow upon women. The campaign, if at all it was one, was started largely to applaud men and make them feel special for something which anyway is not acceptable in a civilised society. The idea behind it was to prevent painting all men with same brush but the campaigners failed in their attempt to slam faux feminism.

The campaign suggested that a man does a favour if he is not a predator and is respectful towards his friend’s sister, drops a female colleague safely at night and if he is not a lecherous uncle pouncing over his niece. Debate on feminism or rape always ends up with a comment "but not all men are like that", leaving aside hundreds and thousands of those who are "like that" but incidentally have never been tried as a rapist. Expecting a society devoid of men not having any thought of oppression for the other sex is simply the idea of a utopian world. We can still hope to have a society where gender remains the last point of issue.

Before we actually go on to award medals or glorify our men for being honest and faithful, check out what else men still do when they do not rape:

1. Men still ogle at women, make catcalls, try to maul or grope them in public places and make vulgar gestures or write tawdry graffiti, commonly in every public place.

2. Men at a senior position still cheekily try to arm-twist a woman in his office to convince her to agree to have coffee with him or try to cosy up at a late night office party and yet remain a "seasoned" senior team player.

3. Men still think that reason for earthquake is "women wearing jeans" or like lawyer ML Sharma suggested, "women are like flowers, if not kept in (the)house, dogs will take them".

4. Men still do not understand "no means no". If a women has said "No" then she should be treated with an acid attack continues to be the dictum.

5. Men still think that it is a wife’s duty to come and cook, make the children do the homework and keep the house clean after both come back from a hard day's work in the office.

6. Men still think that sexist jokes related to the institution of marriage or their wives are cool. 7. Men still think it is fun to enjoy a vulgar item song objectifying women and referring to them as "hot", "bomb", "item" or "sexy" is just another form of entertainment.

8. Men still think it’s perfect to judge a woman on the basis of her choice of clothes, looks, colour of skin or any other physical attributes.

9. Men still fast for eight days on navratra and observe kanya-khana (kanjak) with dedication and do not hesitate to kill a female foetus in the womb or be a part of a khap ordering honour killing.

10. Men still term a heroine as "Khan"; if her film goes on to become a massive hit because at the end of the day, it is all about the hero and never really about the heroine.