What is it with Bengalis and their names?

It is a truth universally acknowledged, (for if there’s an internet meme on it the universe must already know) that a Bengali has two names - one “good” name (of “what is your good name”, fame) or bhalo naam and another an absurd, embarrassing “daak naam” which literally means the name one is called by but is actually a secret pet name.

It is a name only one’s family and childhood friends know and it is never to be disclosed. It holds a certain power. Like the concept of a true “name” in the fantasy fiction world, that to know an object or a person’s true name is to have power over it.

Which does make sense if you think about it.

You could bring a grown man to his knees with a sharp call of his daak naam Ghoton. The President of India may be the president of crores, but he is Poltu, to those who know him closely. 

A friend of mine, a psychologist and counsellor, who provides a patient listening ear to and helps solves the problems of those more than double her age is called Puchu at home. A large 6 feet tall, hulk of a man I know has an unlikely feminine nickname - Pam. 

Another couple have nicknamed the baby they are expecting Posto. It turns out that the husband wanted to know if the baby could hear him at the 6^th week of pregnancy. He googled to find out that the embryo was the size of a poppy seed. Poppy seed in Bengali is Posto. Hence irrespective of how much taller or bigger he/she grows up to be, the child will probably remain Posto to friends and family. The mother, a most baby-faced young woman, is ironically named Buri (old woman). 

Sabyasachi Mukherjee may be a world famous designer collaborating with Christian Louboutin, but to his old fashion fraternity in Kolkata, he is still Pepsi. Actor Prosenjit Chatterjee’s name rhymes with his father’s (Biswajit) but to Bengal’s film fraternity he’s Bumbada.

I myself am called Ru by my family. The name was inspired from a book my mother had read while expecting but it always leads to a number of questions. Is it from Baby Roo from Winnie the Pooh? Nope. Is it like rooh, meaning soul in Urdu? Nope.

Is it like Rui the fish (rohu or carp in Bengali). No again. I have resigned myself to the name and thankfully don’t have to answer to it a lot in my adult life. 

But at least mine faired a better fate than my neighbour’s sons. Uncle was much embarrassed when they rented out their house to a dog-owning family. Turns out that his son and their tenant’s dog answered to the same name - Bhuto (ghost). Needless to say he’s wary of renting out to pet-owning families now. 

I can’t help but believe this secret sheepishness with which we Bengalis live with gives us the sense of absurd. No matter how much we grow, or how we succeed or how much we fail, to some we will always remain Puchu or Puchai, or Babloo or Buri and may even share these names with four-legged members of another family. 

And on that note do you need a little reality check with who you think you are and what your daak naam will let you be? Try this Buzzfeed Bengali daak naam generator.

Also read: Behind the Bengali dish charchari lies a fraught history