Why Fawad Khan is India's new Disney prince for girls of all ages
Finally, a movie that gives girls a PG13 male pin-up, a Disney prince they can drool over.
As the leading lady in the movie says, he has long eyelashes, a ''khadoos''-ness that makes him irresistible, a haveli worthy of several selfies, and papercutter cheekbones that encourage her dirty thoughts. What's not to lust about?
Ladies, and ladies, please welcome Vikram Singh Rathore, played by made-in-Pakistan Fawad Khan.
She is Mili Chakraborty, played by Sonam Kapoor, gleefully overacting, over accessorising and over dressing for the Disney version of Khoobsurat. She is the physiotherapist who brings sweetness and light to the dour princely parivar of rani-sa Ratna Pathak Shah (delightfully proper as always), raja-saheb (a wheelchair bound Aamir Raza Hussain who uses his best English-accented stage voice), aforementioned, Vikram Singh Rathore and his sweet sister Divya. She is an ''aafat'', with no filter between her mind and tongue.
He is the ''maindak'' prince with the weight of family expectations on his shoulders, perfectly kitted out in sharp suits and a BMW convertible, which he drives very, very fast without disturbing his artfully gelled hair. He has a perfectly photogenic fiancée who wears the same colours as he does on the odd occasion she does appear (Aditi Rao Hydari, pouting as usual). He also has a stiff upper lip just waiting to quiver - or be quivered.
Quiver it does, bit by bit, as our heroine wages a relentless assault on his affections. She is quite forward with him and he struggles with his duty manfully before simply giving in. As do we. Sigh.
So why did we have to import our new Disney prince from Pakistan? It may have something to do with his diction (as clear in Hindi as it is in English), his acting (understated), and his ability to carry off sharp suits and sharper bandgallas (super cool).
It may also have something to do with Khoobsurat being made from the female gaze (yes, yes, by a male director). The voice in Sonam Kapoor's head which keeps up a running commentary on Fawad Khan acts as a vent for the girls in the audience too, allowing them the freedom to admire a man in a "'family-friendly"' way. If you're a man accompanying a woman to the film, don't be surprised if she gets dreamy eyed about the new dreamboat.
Four other reasons to watch the film:
#1. A precious performance by Kirron Kher, in crackling form as Punjab di Mummy, with a nice line-in royal putdowns. When the prince uses the royal ''hum'' for the nth time, she bursts out: arre, who is this ''hum''? Tum aur tumhari fauj?
#2. An interior monologue for both the prince and the physiotherapist. He is forever exhorting himself not to look at her exposed legs (clad in baggy shorts). She is forever fantasising about being kissed (chastely please, this is a Disney movie).
#3. A smart score by Sneha Khanwalkar that lends an edge to the film.
#4. A perfect new set of movie parents, played by Ratna Pathak Shah (icy) and Aamir Raza Hussain (cynical).
Something tells me Fawad Khan is going to be a very busy man. Pakistan may well have to forfeit him.