What is Life Dinner and why is everyone talking about it?
Some say the Life Dinner has been a game changer in their relationship. Photo: Representative
Falling in love is the first step in a relationship, and being in love is the next, but maintaining a relationship or marriage for a long time takes more than just love. There's a term going viral once again on social media - the Life Dinner - a method for building happier couples.
Sahil Bloom, who describes himself as an investor, entrepreneur, and creator, recently shared on Twitter how adopting the Life Dinner method in his marriage has helped him and his wife grow together.
So, what is Life Dinner?
I first came across the concept of the Life Dinner from entrepreneur Brad Feld.
— Sahil Bloom (@SahilBloom) April 5, 2023
The idea is simple:
A fixed monthly date to sit down for a meal with your partner to reflect on personal, professional, and relationship progress, challenges, and goals.
Entrepreneur Brad Feld is largely credited for coining and popularising the term "Life Dinner" during a podcast. Feld even has a blog post describing Life Dinner dating back to 2008. And people have been talking more about it in recent times.
- Life Dinner is a method to keep a relationship healthy and growing.
- The idea is simple, says Bloom. It's a date, recurring on the same day every month, but it is special and different from other dates.
- The Life Dinner date is set up with a particular intention, to check in on each other, and discuss personal and relationship growth.
- It's the time for connecting with each other, catching up, celebrating each other's successes, discussing fears, and also discussing goals.
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How to practice the Life Dinner:
Choose the recurring date: Brad Feld in his blog said that the first day of every month is the designated Life Dinner day. Couples can decide what week of every month works for them.
How long: It needs to be a minimum of 20 minutes, but 1-2 hours is recommended. It could be longer depending on conversations and requirements.
There are three key aspects to discuss during the Life Dinner:
During "Life Dinner," you'll discuss 3 overarching categories:
— Ben Meer (@SystemSunday) November 22, 2022
1. Personal Reflection on Last Month
2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month
3. Personal Goals for Next Month
Let's dive into each…
Guiding questions for personal reflection on last month:
- What could I have done better?
- What was I proud of?
- What's causing me anxiety?
- What am I worried about for the future?
Guiding questions for relationship reflection on last month:
- What's one little thing we noticed about each other that we love?
- Are there things we learned about from our relationship?
- How might we want to improve moving forward?
Guiding question for personal goals for next month:
- What do I want to achieve over the next 4 weeks?
Gifting: It is also great to gift something to your significant others. It could be a quirky gift, flowers, something serious like jewellery, or even a surprise trip.
Double Life Dinner? The Life Dinner can also be done with other couples, though for the most part, it should ideally be reserved for the couple.
Where: Couples can choose where to set the date - maybe explore new places or maybe go to the park or even stay at home.
Here are some ways to approach the discussion during the Life Dinner:
Now, some guiding principles:
— Ben Meer (@SystemSunday) November 22, 2022
1. No stonewalling. Don't close up or detach while having tough conversations.
2. Be in the moment. Approach everything from a place of love. Ask thoughtful questions.
3. Prepare ahead of time. Keep a running journal of things you want to discuss.
It is best to approach the discussion about each other with positivity and empathy rather than negativity and judgment. Remember, the purpose of the meeting is to grow together stronger as a team.
Why do we need the Life Dinner?
The Life Dinner sounds like a business meeting and some Twitter users have also weighed their own opinions on the same. Why should the important tête-à-tête not happen every day or whenever the time is right?
someone asked me a while ago if my wife and I do this Life Dinner thing(called it something else) & seemed very nonplussed when I said no, we just talk every day about things that aren't tasks, apparently just talking to your spouse isn't as Productive® as making it a meeting https://t.co/NZ50LIsAFX
— Shiv Ramdas Traing To Rite Buk (@nameshiv) April 5, 2023
- Well, Sahil and other followers of the Life Dinner method say that it is not to disregard any other dates or important discussions.
- But in a long-term relationship, months can go by without partners having a real conversation.
- Problems in long-term relationships may fester due to our hectic lives, avoiding tough conversations, ignoring small conflicts that grow bigger, or one person feeling out of touch with the other.
One other note:
— Sahil Bloom (@SahilBloom) April 5, 2023
The Life Dinner isn’t intended to *replace* normal daily discussions and conversations.
It’s silly to think that doing one means you aren’t talking daily.
It’s just a way to guarantee these deeper, personal, 1-on-1 discussions are happening on a regular basis.
- The Life Dinner provides a designated time and routine to work out issues in relationships and discuss how life is going with our significant other.
- The difference between regular dates and the Life Dinner is the intention. The Life Dinner is intentional and the agenda is set out, which is better than hesitating over whether to bring up tough subjects that can "ruin the mood".
- And unlike other dates, a recurring Life Dinner ensures routine, cancelling the burden of who has to decide on the time and date. It also offers couples security so that they can discuss their lives in detail at a particular time. Though it doesn't mean the problems or life updates can't be shared anytime else.
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