To Kill a Mockingbird taught me to be a better parent

I read To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee in high school. Over time, I forgot the details of the story. All I could perhaps vaguely recollect was that there was an Atticus Finch, and even though he didn't make my heart flutter like a Mr Darcy of Pride and Prejudice or Rhett Butler of Gone with the Wind, there was something about him that made him remain with me all these years.

Recently, I picked up the book again, and I found it refreshingly insightful as a parent to read this simple tale of a single father raising a small girl and a boy, set in the early 1930s America of the Great Depression, in the fictional town of Maycomb, Alabama.

Also read - Why Harper Lee's Mockingbird still sings

Atticus is unlike a typical hero. He is neither macho as we understand the word, nor is he adventurous, loud or rich. His hobbies are rather dull and mundane like reading extensively. A lawyer by profession, he takes up the case of a black man who has been accused of raping a white girl, thereby creating a scandal in a heavily segregated America.

His neighbour's family and the entire community resist his efforts. They insult him, call him names, but Atticus does what he believes is right. It is most difficult for him to convince his two little children, Jem and Scout, who are in a way both ashamed and proud of who their dad is, and to prepare them both for a trial that will shake their world.

Also read - What Go Set a Watchman teaches us about nostalgia

The narrative is brilliantly woven and the tone of the story has all the sweetness and innocence of its almost six-year-old narrator, Jean Scout. What is extremely precious in the story is the parenting lessons enshrined in it. In the simple exchange of dialogue between Scout and her father Atticus, we find some revealing and profound observations. Here are a few lessons that went straight to my heart:

1. Same in the house, as on public streets 

We often wear a mask of sophistication in public, but if we pierce through it, the reality is quite different and a lot of times, ugly. The gap between idealism and reality, between what we preach and what we do, needs to be reduced, till they both become one. If you are afraid to beat your child in public gaze, do not thrash him or her behind closed doors either.

2. When a child asks you something, answer him (her), for goodness' sake. But don't make a production of it... children can spot an evasion quicker than an adult

When Scout asks Atticus "what is rape", he does not evade the question, or lie, he gives a simple, straight answer. Children often ask the most difficult questions and it is up to us how best we answer. Quenching a child's curiosity and stimulating it can go a long way in shaping their genius. Do you recollect the famous Einstein saying, "I have no special talent; I am only passionately curious"?

3. I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand

In an increasingly violent world, we need to teach our children how courage lies deep within us; how it is an attitude, a mindset. The best example is Gandhi: the most non-violent and peaceful man in the history of the world, who, with a walking stick, shook the foundations of the mightiest empire.

4. Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for us not to try to win

In today's world where we compete excessively with each other, we start fearing failure, and once we do fail, we are afraid to pick ourselves up again. It is critical to fail, to learn from it, not to shy away, as only those who fail, and miserably so, achieve anything worthwhile. Abraham Lincoln, before becoming one of America's most famous presidents, had a failed business and many failed elections to his credit.

5. You will never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view [...] until you climb into his skin and walk around in it

Empathy is a running theme in the book. And it has been beautifully summarised in this line. It teaches us to understand others better and to appreciate that each one of us has his own struggles, challenges and baggages to deal with.

6. You should just hold your head high and keep those fists down. No matter what anyone says to you, don't let 'em get your goat. Try fighting with your head for a change… it's a good one

To support this quote, I quote from my favorite poem , If by Rudyard Kipling: "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you… or being hated, don't give way to hating, and yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise". Do I need to say more?

In the end, the masterpiece:

7. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience

When the world turns against you; when everyone doubts you; when everyone questions your ability, your values; when the ones you once counted on turn against you - remember to hold your stead in the face of the gravest of dangers and disagreements. Be an army, armed with truth, righteousness, undying faith in justice and belief in your own self.

I wish we could live by some of these teachings, not only as parents but as human beings.