Using technology to find romance, sex or desire is not lazy
The age-old caution our grandmothers offered us as children has only evolved marginally over the years: "don’t speak to strangers… online" we’re forewarned these days with knowing glances.
While the world may be abuzz with words of caution on online familiarities, the other side of the coin talks about romances which have blossomed in virtual, always-on, forever-connected web of apps and portals. Happily ever after, too, has evolved, it would seem.
Time and again technology has been made out to be the new generations Frankenstein’s monster turning people into gadget slaves, creating invisible barriers and basically pushing people apart instead of drawing them closer – the chief reason behind it’s very conceptualisation.
Let’s take a step back and re-evaluate this. A mother lecturing her son, childhood friends reminiscing the good old days, a sister helping her sibling pick up the perfect trousseau for her wedding, buddies trying to lift each other’s spirits up when going through a rough patch, a father seeing his new born child for the first time – sound like daily regular occurrences right?
Unless these incidents are taking place with the individuals in question living on different cities, countries or even continents. In this day and age, physical distances cannot dull the emotional bond people share. For this, we have technology to be grateful to. It’s interesting how lines on a map hold little meaning when you have an internet-enabled smartphone.
Click a few buttons and connect with parents, siblings, relatives, friends, and colleagues whosoever you wish. But lately there has been a new role that technology has taken on. That of playing Cupid.
The virtual world is abuzz with stories of how girl meets boy online or via apps, friendship blossoms, one thing leads to another and few dates later they are either in a serious relationship or contemplating getting hitched. For those who do not see scope for a romantic equation, there is always the promise of new beginnings and connections.
We have heard stories for people coming together to form a band in Bangalore, we’ve heard stories of people finding travel buddies or connecting with locals, of professional seeking inspiration or collaborators, and of course, our teams have even received invites to weddings of people who have met on the platform.
One of our users, a creative professional, thrives on conversations and Tinder has opened his mind to new perspectives and ideas, of course while picking up a few friends and dates along the way.
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| Click. Swipe. Connect. Cupid strikes. (Photo: Google) |
Often observations about how technology is influencing social interactions hinge on prophesising doomsday scenarios for human connection. However, I don’t believe that using technology to find love, romance, sex or desire is a lazy or half-hearted attempt at love or romance. Technology is certainly redefining that standard. The meet cute was once set in your parents’ living room or neighborhood haunt or college campus or workplace. Today, the meet cute is on your GPS enabled smartphone.
Digital platforms – apps, social networks, and for that matter, even e-commerce, have done a lot to aid improved discovery and exploration. Traditional, and often conservative, social norms in India don't typically allow or encourage any opportunities to discuss, or sometimes, even acknowledge feelings of love or desire.
The immediacy of the internet allows for better awareness and inclusion of new thoughts and ideas, it opens up access to new channels of information as well as to products, platforms and content that allows us to explore topics or themes that may have previously been brushed aside.
Research has shown time and again that technology advancements have brought about attitudinal and behavioural changes in society and especially have had an empowering effect on women.
For instance, studies have shown that the advent of cable TV had a massive effect in uplifting and empowering women in rural India. Can you imagine, then, the power the almost-ubiquitous smartphone and rapidly proliferating broadband connectivity can have on our society at large.
And, we have seen that change, slowly but surely set in. From a solo adventurer who has travelled the length and breadth of the country with new friends she swiped right on for their mutual love for travel to women in small towns who are shedding their inhibitions and gaining more confidence in meeting people outside their immediate social circles.
Intimacy is perceived differently among different people – every relationship, after all, has its own unique vibe and dynamic. That’s the beauty of human connection. Technology may redefine the way in which these relationships are facilitated and perhaps, even conducted, however it cannot waver this fundamental truth.
Every person has a different vision of and expectation from every individual interaction – definitions of dating are vastly varying, understanding of desire is complex, acceptance of sex and openness around it is still being negotiated and hotly debated. And, this state of flux is fine – cultures have always evolved, norms have often been redefined.
What, however, is a cause for concern is the lack of conversation around some of these changes. You cannot ignore what is inevitable. Refusing to acknowledge that, for instance, our youth are dating or grappling with sex and desire, will not remove these issues from our social fabric.
Technology is a great enabler – technology is not only a creator of new opportunities, but it is also a great equaliser, where anyone with a smartphone has the chance to make a great new connection with no geographic, economic or social barrier.
Why then shouldn’t we channel this great power in the right direction to bring people closer, rather than debate possibly archaic understandings of romance or desire or sex to drive people apart.
The youth are adopting mobile as their primary and sometimes only devices. Mobiles are very personal in nature as opposed to shared desktops, so the nature and intensity of interaction is quite different and unique. Mobile enables social and hyperlocal interaction in a way nothing else can, and this behaviour is best leveraged by mobile first networks like Tinder.
With over 160 million smartphone users, India is one of the largest and most exciting markets in the world already, and this number is rapidly increasing. Smartphone penetration is growing rapidly and more than 300 million people are expected to have smartphones in the next two-three years. Indian youth are mobile-first global citizens and are adopting social networks rapidly, leading this growth.
Every day we hear stories from our users about connections they made on Tinder, that lead to friendships, relationships and marriages. Many of them tell us that, without Tinder, they wouldn't have met their perfect life partner.
It is both exciting and humbling to see how an app like ours is changing people’s lives. It is also a sign of our evolving society.
Click. Swipe. Connect. Cupid strikes!