Ileana D'Cruz does not need to tell you who her baby's father is. Sit down.
Ileana D'Cruz announces pregnancy, vile comments speculate on baby's father. Photo: Instagram/ileana_official
Bollywood actor Ileana D'Cruz announced on Instagram on April 18 that she was going to become a mom. While Ileana's family, friends, and well-wishing fans rushed to congratulate her, true to society and the Internet's style, trolls were busier nursing their bruised egos after finding out a woman can singularly choose to have a baby without revealing or having the baby's father.
Comments on Ileana's Instagram post ranged from curious "Who's the father" to downright condemnation somehow equating to "Kalyug" (the age of demon).
It is 2023, but women still don't have an equal footing in society. If anything, in several parts of the world, society as a whole seems to be regressing back into time rather than progressing (read: US anti-abortion laws).
It doesn't matter who's the baby's father!
Ileana D'Cruz could be pregnant without being married or she could be opting for adoption, a child through IVF or surrogacy, all without the existence of a father. And it is her right to choose to do so. Her rights as a single mother are also recognised and protected by Indian law.
However, society always seems to have a problem with women who dare to make any choices of their own and it doesn't really matter what decision.
Women who get abortions are criticised, women who choose to have a baby outside of wedlock are criticised, unmarried women who choose to adopt a baby are also criticised, women who choose never to have children are criticised, women who say no to marriage are criticised, women who become widows are blamed for their husband's death, married women who choose to have a baby through surrogacy are criticised, giving birth to daughters is frowned upon, and the list is exhausting.
Society's obsession with the traditional family structure consisting of a mother, father, and children is going out of style. For many individuals, this family structure is unsustainable and unsuitable.
Currently, the traditional family structure is also being challenged in the Supreme Court over same-sex marriage recognition.
Double standards
While there are many out there who want to question Ileana D'Cruz about the baby's father and drag her character for making her choices, the same treatment was not meted out to single men like Karan Johar and Tushar Kapoor who became single fathers through surrogacy.
What does the Indian law say about non-traditional family structures?
When it comes to women's rights, Indian law is more progressive. Though, the same cannot be said for the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community right now.
- The law empowers single mothers. For one, single mothers do not have to disclose the identity of the father for any purpose, be it for their school admission or any government registration.
- Of course, the reality on the ground is very different. There have been several cases where government employees were taken aback to know a child doesn't have any father figure dead or alive and refused registration.
- Then, there are times when children of single mothers are denied admission into schools.
- The law is actually sexist when it comes to traditional family structure. A mother is the natural guardian of a child till the age of five, but the father becomes the natural guardian after this age. The mother becomes a secondary guardian.
- The mother in a traditional family structure only gets full guardianship of a child in case of the father's death.
Perhaps the most high-profile single mother case in India could be traced back to the times of Neena Gupta, who back in the late 80s decided to have a child out of wedlock.
Neena Gupta also faced several hardships on the way and criticism of society.
Live-in relationships
- Live-in relationships are not banned and are recognised under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act. It is a small step, but progress nevertheless.
- Consenting adults in live-in relationships can legally cohabitate, jointly own properties, and more. Of course, the reality on the ground, again, is different.
- Just take a look at this humorous Instagram reel on "bachelors" being rejected as tenant applicants in Bengaluru. (The situation is no different in other metros in the country.)
- The above video may rouse a chuckle, but it shows how society refused to change with time despite progress in the law.
But not all is lost. Ileana D'Cruz's fans were also quick to shut down the sexist comments on her post.
Similarly, it is 2023 and we need to accept women's independence and decisions without criticism and character assassination. Not everyone wants what the traditional society dictates, and it is not everyone's route to happiness. Sit down. Drink a glass of water.