Food is not about critics, don't let them spoil it for you

I think I was always apologetic about the food I was about to eat, because I knew that inside my head, I would be too busy dissecting it to ever enjoy it truly. However, I have never truly "reviewed" food - I merely shared my experience of having a meal at a place and talked about it. I don't remember the first time someone asked me to come over for a meal at a restaurant, and, after tasting, tell them how it was. I did go.

Of course. It was a nice meal too, and I wrote about it honestly. A few days later, the manager called me and asked if I would change a few words, "here and there", so that the "review I had written sounded more lucrative to the readers."

I still remember politely refusing.

But this was not the end of it. Oh no, this was just the beginning. By that time, I, like most of my smartphone-savvy friends, had discovered the numerous websites and apps which allowed users to leave an opinion about the food, the ambiance, and a few other details about the food.

Soon, these apps and websites became the Mecca for thousands of people who would obsess over food, where being "seen" at a new place would be the "in" thing to do, clicking hundred photographs and putting them all up, unedited, was considered to be essential, and when all failed, reading the menu and leaving a generic feedback which would scream the equivalent of placing a flag on the moon with the words, "I ate here".

In short, we lived in a micro-social media which was getting addicted to its own power. Soon enough, I came across comments in restaurants, which would read:

"God, the butter chicken was sooooo good! 3.5 out of 5 for sure!"

"Are you kidding me! The server didn't make eye contact when he served us! It's a 2 from me."

I looked back. Two girls, both in their late teens, were looking around, snapping photos and discussing the food, in the earshot of the manager. Of course, this was deliberate, because they kept on looking at the manager pointedly, till he came over, and asked the girls what the problem was.

After fifteen minutes, they left, with complimentary desserts safely tucked in their tummies. It wasn't new. Every day, the "reviewers" from such communities resort to many such ploys, what can be politely be called manipulation and impolitely blackmail, to get free food and services from the hotels and restaurants, and, on many occasions, money as well.

Often enough, owners feel helpless - with the power of social media in their hands, a number of these people would speak about the "trauma" they had faced at so and so restaurants in the media, or how they had felt extremely "cheated" because they had to pay for their meal, and the food apparently wasn't "up to their standards". Mind you, these are also the reviewers who may order a Mojito and then be annoyed that it contained alcohol in it.

And then there are "bloggers". You would find most of them blogging for about a month to six and asking for "references" to be connected to hotels and restaurants where they would go and "taste" the food and condescend to tell the people their opinion - most of the time, the food would be "yummilicious" with a "perfect balance" (god knows what that meant), or would be tasting slightly off (again, without any reference whatsoever, which would lead to the generation of multiple questions inside the readers' mind, in my case, how many nails through my eyeballs would it take to go permanently blind and never be subject to this again). Of course, the "bloggers" and the "reviewers" would have photos, in many cases, quietly "lifted" from someone else's account or blog - and, once confronted, can go the extent of threatening someone with physical harm or death.

Which leads us to the beautiful vice of gluttony. Indeed one "gem" of a blogger, the self-proclaimed "best blogger of the city" told me that being a connoisseur of food meant one had to eat a lot of it. In one sitting, at that. Of course, this blogger nearly put a few people out of their work after he (and a few people he had brought along with him for an event, and yes, this blogger has a reputation for doing so quite a lot) and his "friends" ate twelve plates of jumbo prawns and a few kilos of lamb.

A few days ago, a well-known American brand of alcohol decided to stop associating with Indian bloggers after the shameful conduct of one particular who had single-handedly finished off a good deal of alcohol on a trip to their distillery. At places around this fine city, often enough, smart restaurants insist on a sit-down dinner than a buffet, in order to curb the intake of such mammoth proportions of food.

Of course, then there are the blackmailers and the ones who prey on the vulnerabilities of the hotels. This is specifically becoming a game for many "reviewers", who deliberately target "young" and new establishments which are still shaky and trying to get off from the ground.

A bitter review with a very low score would virtually guarantee an almost immediate invite, followed by a call from the apologetic management or owner, who would immediately offer a meal to "make it up". At this point, the food "reviewer", whose profile has, among other things, descriptions like "mentor" and "food guru", despite their degree in commerce or law, would confidently berate the said manager/owner, berate and belittle, and then, condescend to come for a consultation, which, of course, would 'have' to be paid, and of course, there would be other such "reviewers" involved, who would come along too, and yes, the next morning, the management and owner would find themselves considerably lighter, both in their pockets and in the kitchen.

As a reviewer and a critic, I have understood one thing in the last few years: truthfully, there's no such thing as a free lunch. Ultimately, you need to pay, one way or the other. However, are hotel owners and restaurants losing confidence in their food so badly?

Since when did food reviewers become so important? Is the subjectivity of food no longer of any importance?

I remember an incident: as a child, I had been taken to a restaurant which a well-known food writer had berated about bad food just the day before.

I had, under the influence of the review, told my father about it, to which, he had said, "Don't ever believe anything 100 per cent until and unless you have done it yourself. Now eat your food and stop thinking about what others said!" I admit, he was right, and it was one of the most memorable meals I have had.

The subjectivity of food rests completely on the taster's palate, and when that is underexposed, criticism becomes an act of frivolity which one should ideally not indulge in.