If I'm self-obsessed, so are you

The elders sat relaxing on plush sofas, on a warm afternoon in July. I sat next to my mother, who was busy cooing at our relative’s four-month-old daughter, who she cradled in the nook of her arms.

Drifting in and out, I caught snatches of the ongoing discussion in the living room.

Someone commented on the self-obsessive nature of the "selfie-plagued generation", another nodded understandingly, bringing up Facebook (the piñata parents like to bash when they must complain about their children’s obsession with social media), and scoffed at the constant stream of uploaded pictures, and the likes and comments that inadvertently follow them. 

The dialogue ended with mostly everyone in the room agreeing upon the "youngster’s need for constant attention and validation".

Also read: Selfies are sucking our sense of self value and worth

Being this generation's worst advocate, I continued to sit detached at that moment. But like any typical non-confrontational individual, I will find passive-aggressive ways to bring it up at a later date. This is me doing that.

I believe everyone requires validation and approval from the people around them.

It’s what keeps them believing in their worth when their lack of self-belief requires external support. And those who believe that this is an "issue" that only plagues the younger generation, allow me to attempt to prove you wrong with an example of my family and relations (because no matter what I say about them, it’s too late for them to disown me).

A pet peeve that gets blown out of proportion the most has to not be invited to a family event, where you thought your presence was important; worse, to not be given due attention when you are invited.

I’ve seen countless fall victim to "mainu-kyun-nahi-pucheya" syndrome, loosely understood as "how come no one cares about me" (for full effect, read in an indignant tone).

It has been the cause of frequent tiffs and has even weakened ties.

The only difference between both the previously discussed phenomena is the medium through which these occur.

If there is a person who repeatedly goes on Facebook to check for positive comments on a recently changed profile picture, there is also a person who invests in expensive clothing and accessories, and subconsciously considers them worth the cost after receiving compliments at a party.

Both come down to the same thing - the need for a stamp of approval.

Why pretend it to be a frivolous habit born yesterday, instead of accepting it as something that has been a part and parcel of social life, which simply manifests itself in different forms as per the characteristics of the current social context?

If it is not feverishly contested in our social gatherings, then why get after people of the same ilk on social media?

If the dosage of such a habit has to be modulated, it should be done in all social spheres.