Life lessons, with some help from Bollywood and Hollywood

Thank you all for coming. We have a great show for you today - Sakshi Malik, the real Sultan of wrestling; Amitabh Bachchan, fresh from the fantastic film that is Pink; Kangana Ranaut who will show us what it means to be the Queen of Bollywood; Varun Dhawan, who I gather is very popular with the girls; Sushant Singh Rajput, who is doing a film which mixes two of our biggest passions, cricket and Bollywood; and many more.

They're all going to be telling you how they made it and how you can too.

You're going to hear a lot of good advice today. But as one of the people who's put together the programme for today, I give myself the privilege of going first. 

So here goes: Life lessons with some help from Bollywood and Hollywood.

#1. Pehle apni game oonchi karo phir apni aawaz oonchi karna. Remember who this is? Kabir Khan in Chak De India. Want to be taken seriously? Take yourself seriously. Get yourself in order. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Read, get fit, introspect. Want to be treated as an adult? Become one. 

#2. Ek baar jo maine commitment kar di fir main apne aap ki bhi nahin sunta. Listen to Salman Khan speaking sense for once. Find a passion and pursue it. The most successful people have made a profession of their hobbies, and that's why they're so good at it.  

#3. Make friends. You'll need them to wake you up in the morning when your alarm doesn't go off, to take notes for you when you bunk, to lend you a shoulder when you cry and to multiply your pocket money. Kyunki dosti main, no sorry, no thank you.

#4. Step outside your comfort zone. As Master Shifu said in Kung Fu Panda. If you only do what you can do, you'll never be better than what you are. 

#5. Tumhara pyaar na ho gaya UPSC ka exam ho gaya. das saal se paas hi nahin ho raha. Find love. It doesn't have to be like Raanjhanaa but boy, girl, anything in between. Find someone to care about. Boys, that means accepting that girls are smarter, will make more money than you at some point, will need help with housework, eventually babies, and will probably end up ruling the world. Girls, it means a life spent educating boys. Keeping them up to date with how things have changed, and how if women wear what they want, drink what they want, say what they want and do what they want, doesn't mean that they are easy, or asking for trouble, or inviting sexual assault. No, in any language, and in every language, always means no.  

#6. "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need." So understand the message of Fight Club. And understand budgets. No it's not something Arun Jaitley presents once a year. It's what you will have to live by. If your pocket money isn't enough, don't worry. Earn some. There are lots of jobs for people who speak well, look decent, and are willing to work long hours. 

#7. Be kind to friends, animals and especially your poor parents, not necessarily in that order. Forgive them because bade bade deshon main, chhoti chhoti cheezen hoti rehti hain, senorita. 

#8. Don't do drugs. There are better ways to get high. As the late great Robin Williams said: “The human spirit is more powerful than any drug and that is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship and family.”

#9. Learn to do your own work. And I mean everything. Learn to get up and get your self a glass of water, make your breakfast and most other meals, launder your clothes, clean your room. Remember your mother won't be around to pick up your clothes, air your smelly shoes and empty your rubbish. Anything can happen. Life is like a box of chocolates, You never know what you're gonna get.

#10. Enjoy the moment. Don't be in a hurry to instagram, snapchat or take a selfie. Everything doesn't have to be out there. Zindagi lambi nahin, badi honi chahiye, babu moshai.

#11. Ask questions, Always be curious. and never be afraid of looking stupid. As the Godfather said, great men are not born great, they grow great.

#12. Listen. Don't be in haste to write off people. No one can know everything and every point of view has some relevance. As long as no one is endorsing violence, pay attention to what they're saying. Remember, again what Robin Williams said: "You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to."

#13. Speak up. Don't rant, Just make your point, Powerfully, pointedly. Argue with facts. Stand for the truth. You're in India, you have to adjust - make space on the bus, on the train, in the Metro. But don't adjust your principles. As Yoda would say: "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." 

#14. Be grateful. At the end of every day, say thanks to God, whoever it is. And remember if you make a mistake, you can always correct it. “When life gets you down, do you wanna know what you’ve gotta do? Like Nemo, just keep swimming!” 

Thanks very much.

Enjoy yourselves today, and meet you at the other end.

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