Does your partner ignore you for their smarphone? They could be phubbing you
Phubbing could be the reason for your breakup. Photo: Amrutha Pagad/DailyO
Do you think you are phubbing your partner or that you were phubbed? Modern relationships are replete with modern problems. And one of the biggest problems of our life - smartphone addiction - is also ruining relationships, sometimes beyond repair. When it comes to a smartphone becoming a homewrecker, there is a term for it.
The Word
- It's called phubbing, the practice of ignoring someone's physical presence to give your phone attention.
- The word 'phubbing' is actually created out of two words: phone and snubbing. So, when you snub your partner and choose the phone over them, you are phubbing them.
- You could be phubbing your partner or a friend or a date, or you could be the one on the receiving end.
- Phubbing could be brushed aside as a non-problem, but those on the receiving end know how it affects them.
Phubbing is so commonplace now, that people accept it as the norm.
— Leonard Roxon (@LeonardRoxon) July 26, 2023
Personally I find it very offensive! So should you, as it demonstrates passive aggressive disrespect, by self-absorbed egocentric narcissists! Having said that, I'm not saying ignore emergencies.
You want to…
Smartphones and the constant need to always be connected to the world have become such a problem that addiction to smartphones is tearing marriages apart. The problem is quite prevalent that you might b engaging in it right now and not know about it. After all, how many times do you catch yourself mindlessly scrolling away hours of your time?
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Study
- A Turkish study conducted by Nigde Ömer Halisdemir University found that phubbing does indeed impact relationships negatively, resulting in increased conflicts and decreasing intimacy.
- Getting distracted by a phone during sex or waking up to look at the phone screen first thing in the morning instead of checking on your partner, are all some bad behaviours.
- But phubbing isn't something that is limited to just romantic long-term couples. It can affect short-term couples too. For example, did you ever find yourself on an annoying date with someone who couldn't be pried away from his/her phone?
- When one person becomes consumed or distracted by their phone for the larger part of in-person interactions, it can feel isolating and alienating.
Not just romantic interactions, you can be phubbing elsewhere too. For example, walking while staring at your phone screen, taking a call on public transport, lowering your eyes to your phone in the middle of a conversation, or checking your phone during dinner, are all considered to be rude behaviour.
Most times, getting distracted by your phone or staring at your phone, even if there's nothing going on, has become the norm. But it could be ruining your mental peace as well as others' mental peace.
If you struggle with phubbing, there are some conscious efforts you can make to reduce the behaviour:
#ThisMorning #phubbing a place to keep our phones during family get togethers. Made by my partner Adam a couple o years ago. Phones can even be charged while in there 🤣 advertising designed by the children. pic.twitter.com/DNMaqTS1B9
— Amie (@lilpears) July 19, 2023
- Keep your phone in another part of the room or your house, if you are regularly and unnecessarily distracted by it.
- During special occasions when you have to give your complete attention to someone, something or a social gathering, keep your phone on 'Do Not Disturb' mode or on silent.
- Set screen time limits to keep yourself in check.
We all feel that uncontrollable urge to simply keep sifting through our phones even without any real need. Buzzing of the phone, and messages all feel like they have to be attended to right then. But keep in mind that you don't always have to be connected to the world and be available all the time.
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