4 ways technology can ruin relationships
The initial lovey-dovey stage, slowly but steadily, starts fading away.
Dating in the modern world is becoming increasingly hard. Technology doesn’t exactly make our lives easier, especially when the honeymoon period of a relationship is over, and the real nitty-gritties of reality begin to hit.
In the beginning, of course, it’s all sunshine and roses: you text each other constantly, transform into a selfie addict, talk all day and night. You basically binge yourself silly on your SO (significant other). This initial cutesy lovey-dovey stage continues for some time until, slowly but steadily, it starts fading away.
If you’re able to survive this phase, you transition to the next one. Let’s call it the "things-gets-real" phase, where it starts to get a little complicated. In the following ways:
1. More often than not, you start waiting for your daily "good morning" text.
As my friends tell me, each person in a relationship likes to be the first ones to receive the text. My bestfriend’s boyfriend forgot to text her one morning, unaware of what a huge crime he had committed. Sure enough, hell hath no fury like a woman who hasn’t received her "good morning" text.
She quickly hatched up a break-up plan, formulated insulting, hurtful words, and began to imagine a future without him. Ella Frank, I'm sure, wasn’t kidding when she said: "The strongest drug that exists for a human is another human being." And when we’re in love, we tend to behave irrationally and desperately.
2. There is also the annoying issue of how you suddenly become glued to your Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat posts, sometimes checking the apps multiple times a day. (My friend’s boyfriend broke up with her because she used to accuse him of sending too many selfies to other girls on Snapchat.)
3. Messaging platforms, too, are problematic. The SO’s "last seen" (last time the person was online) status can put your perfectly healthy relationship in jeopardy. For instance, a friend of mine had a roaring fight with his girlfriend when he checked her "last seen" and saw that she had been online at 3am, even though she had told him she was planning to sleep early.
After sending her a flurry of furious texts, the poor girl responded saying she had got up at night to check her messages, and gone back to sleep. The excuse sounded fishy to my friend and they decided to make up only after a couple of days.
4. Then there is the issue of the "like" - when someone likes another boy/girl’s picture. My colleague told me how her boyfriend would pick up worthless fights with her, all because she occasionally "liked" a male co-worker’s picture on Facebook.
Increased accessibility through social media and messaging has vastly complicated the dynamics of communication between people. The real question now boils down to how one can find the appropriate balance to give space to one another and breathe a comfortable silence in your relationship.
One of the (many) answers that I am discovering may be this: Make your phone less of a priority, and you get busy. Go on Facebook a little less and be more creative. Do your daily chores without the pressure of receiving a text message hanging like a sword above you. Create a meaningful life full of trust because, at the end of the day, you have that special someone to share it with.