Why politicians must speak more about sex and Sunny Leone
There is a simple guide to being a true Indian politician. When in doubt, talk about sex. Yes, sex. It doesn’t matter how silly the argument is; how ludicrous the statement is, sex sells. Before you know it, TV cameras will be beamed at you, demanding to know just what you meant, and hey, presto you are a politico star.
This latest trick was executed to perfection by the CPI leader Atul Kumar Anjan. With great skill, dexterity and depth of thought, Anjan decided that Sunny Leone’s (yes Leone, not Deol) condom advertisements were vulgar and helped promote rape. Before long the people of the nation - most of whom who had no idea who Anjan was, let alone what he was doing in Ghazipur in Uttar Pradesh, where he made his speech – got to know everything. All hail Anjan.
Anjan is not the only one to grin and bare his soul for the cameras. And since he has achieved fame he has been also gracious enough to apologise to Sunny. "Sorry Sunny, it was a slip of the tongue, your ads don’t actually promote rape, but they are still vulgar, so umm... people should still not watch them." In any other country, comedians would have been queuing up to take potshots. Instead, all we got in India was moral indignation. The comedy was all on the politicians’ side.
The sex angle doesn’t always work though. The government tried to do its bit by trying to ban porn sites – "what an idea sirji" – and thus become the star. Unfortunately, for them moral indignation did not follow, only a lot of jokes. See, that’s the risk. If you go on about sex you must get furious newscasters ensuring that you explain yourself and come clean.
What you cannot afford is to be laughed at. And that’s just what happened. Not only did the government’s actions cause people to ROFL – but caused Twitterati and comedians to rub their hands in glee. John Oliver had a field day, with a two-minute skit that would make you cringe if you were part of the government.
On a serious note, the notion of a ban stirred our giant – the Supreme Court into action and the government was forced to backtrack saying: ‘No, no, Your Honour, we are not a totalitarian state... Your Honour, we actually meant child porn... Your Honour. But we can’t ban child porn because if we ban ten, five more will come up." The laugh was clearly not on the state’s side.
The moral of the story is simple – stick to sex and stars. Look at what Anjan has accomplished: he has brought more attention to condom advertisements, which till recently hadn’t been getting the attention they deserved, and he ensured the CPI was actually noticed campaigning in Uttar Pradesh – no mean feat that. For this he deserves a pat on the back. But do make sure it’s not from Sunny Leone.