Why some say Vikas and Pragati were slaughtered in a riot on street number 2002
Disclaimer: The following story contains no references to GST, oxygen cylinders or demonetisation. It is safe for film production should anyone be willing to finance it.
In the republic of BotsWannaLand was a couple whose love was opposed by the elders on their street. Tragically, the couple's lineage shared cordial relations for 60 years. In fact, it was in this atmosphere of peace that love blossomed between Vikas and Pragati. However, the two found their relationship going nowhere since the time their house in street number 2002 was attacked. For no fault of theirs, Vikas and Pragati were held to ransom. And when the ransom money was coughed up by the entire community, it was paid to the chums of the Western satrap's Pradhan Sevak, Gabbar Singh. The chums and a few other distinguished sidekicks ensured that an illusion of prosperity was created. The bubble kept expanding as Vikas and Pragati took refuge in other satraps of BotsWannaLand.
Snip snip!
"Did you hear that?" asked Pragati.
"Yes, but I don't know what it is," replied Vikas.
They decided to go to the southern satrap of Andrea Pradesh as their capital was named after the Spanish word for love - Amor - Amoriwitty. The land was tipped to rival Singapore as it supposedly had progressive leaders like Cry Baby Naidoo and Jaggu the Juggler-who gets his name from juggling between Cry Baby Naidoo, Gabbar Singh and his Daddy's ideals which hasn't comprehended fully. When they reached the clone of Singapore, they were accompanied to Amoriwitty by the excise minister who claimed that in Andrea Pradesh, beer was a health drink. Vikas and Pragati had such a hangover that they decided to flee the southern satrap at the earliest.
On the way out, they discovered that Cry Baby Naidoo wasn't benign as he was made out to be by the many yellow journalists. They realised that two decades ago Naidoo was a notorious bicycle thief and his image was carefully constructed by the man who then pulled the stings in the satrap - Dramoji Rao. Dramoji with his drama company ensured that Naidoo - The Bicycle Thief - was seen as the fellow with a yellow halo. They also learnt that Naidoo didn't mean to make Amoriwitty another Singapore. He just said "sue-the-poor" so loud that people heard it as Singapore. Snip snip!
"Did you hear that?" Asked Vikas.
"Yes, but I don't know what it is" replied Pragati.
Vikas and Pragati abandoned their southern sojourn and moved back up the BotsWannaLand. As they meandered their way up the once (relatively) liberal and wonderful nation, they were oblivious to the fact that they were being stalked. Everyone knew the bearded stalker. And the stalker saw everyone. His name was Peeping Tomit Saw. Tomit Saw was from street number 2002 too and was instrumental in helping his saheb Gabbar Singh stifle Vikas and Pragati. He also knew the secret behind that sound Vikas and Pragati heard at regular intervals - snip snip!
Tomit Saw was one of the only people to know about Gabbar Singh's ailments. The Pradhan Sevak was not just a compulsive liar, but he was also a compulsive inaugurator. With a deep-rooted insecurity that he is not as erudite as his predecessors, who nurtured Vikas and Pragati, despite the meagre resources, Gabbar Singh pranced around BotsWannaLand with a pair of scissors to snip at ribbons in hastily organised inauguration functions. The bots - as the citizens of BotsWannaLand are known -loved Gabbar Singh and Tomit Saw. And every time Gabbar Singh snipped open property that belonged to Vikas and Pragati for six decades, the bots went bonkers with an equal measure of rage and jubilation.
In one particular speech, when the Pradhan Sevak claimed that the reddening of his eyes was enough to discipline the nagging neighbour, the People's Republic of Maina, the bots went into a trance and demanded a land of their own. Screams and screeches of "Bots Want a Land" filled the electoral summer and that is how the once peaceful land that Vikas and Pragati grew up in came to be known as BotsWannaLand. What the bots didn't know then was that the reddening of Gabbar Singh's eyes was actually a severe bout of conjunctivitis.
As the Pradhan Sevak was running out of ribbons to cut, Tomit Saw and the other members of the BotsWannaLand Jumla Party pasted together already cut ribbons so that Gabbar Singh can cut them again and rattle off new lies prompted by his weed energy. However, as euphoria waned, a few bots stopped raving about the Pradhan Sevak. The rave party and weed energy subsided and they now asked where Vikas and Pragati were.
To keep their minds occupied, Gabbar Singh told them tales of Vikas and Pragati's distant relative Gaurav.
None believed the Pradhan Sevak anymore, so Tomit Saw arranged for 16,000 people to assemble at Gabbar Singh's rallies. What they didn't realise is that strength is a matter of character and not numbers. Even 16,000 jaywalkers taking their morning walks cannot muster enough strength to make Vikas, Pragati or their cousin Gaurav return to street number 2002. The bots are too deep in a trance to understand that what they see are only effigies of Vikas and Pragati that the Pradhan Sevak is fooling them with.
Meanwhile, the whereabouts of Vikas and Pragati were leaked to Gabbar Singh by Cry Baby Naidoo. Thanks to the predecessors of Gabbar Singh, despite his tyrannical rule, there were pockets of prosperity in the villages. Vikas and Pragati dreamt of a future amid the many hardworking farmers and small traders in the pristine countryside. They worked hard and saved a little money. Even though life was hard, Vikas and Pragati were happy. But one evening on the eighth day of November, Vikas and Pragati were cornered by Gabbar Singh. In sheer desperation, Vikas and Pragati offered them what little money they had earned - Pragati her Rs 1,000 note and Vikas his Rs 500 note. The serial inaugurator Gabbar Singh, decided that cutting ribbons wasn't novel anymore. So, he took their notes and went… snip snip!
Even today, no one knows the fate of Vikas and Pragati. Some say they are cowering in the serpentine lines at the banks, while some hallucinating bots are certain they saw them. A few say that Vikas and Pragati were slaughtered in a riot on street number 2002.
Maybe the souls of Vikas and Pragati have now joined the soul of their most nurturing friend, Shanti. Let's hope and pray that there is rebirth and we have the three of them with us again.