Why Aamir Khan's Sexy Baliye will put item girls out of business
As the credits of Secret Superstar roll and the audience begins to leave the theatre, this happens: "Haaye", a voice croons, leering straight into the camera, half-bent across its massive frame. "Ahhhaaa..." His lips curve, as sleazy as his shiny jacket. "Haaye", his back turned, the man struts a few steps away. And then some.
"Ahhaaaa...", now his shoulders take turns to build up his moves - so bad that it is good. His hands caress his butt and he turns around and does the signature Bollywood pelvic move in his crotch-hugging jeans.
"Ha..."
"Ha..."
"Ha..."
"Haaye teri boli bolungi
Teri bani gaungi
Tere ishq ka chola pehen main
To rang rang jaongi..."
The lyrics by Kausar Munir clearly describe a woman in love. But when Aamir Khan chooses to do an item number on this remix, a peppy beat composed by Amit Trivedi, there is simply no stopping him from having a blast.
Dressed in a tight red, sleeveless T-shirt that says "Sexy Baliye", an over-the-top jacket and colourful jeans with pink stickers, bright gold sneakers and his hair standing up in blond spikes, Aamir looks and acts the part of the quirky, roadside Romeo, aptly named Shakti Kumaar.
Aamir could as easily switch to Govinda or Anil Kapoor, who he seems to channel here, with the way he rolls out his R's and curls his lips - clearly enjoying this tapori avatar from his Ghulam's "Aati hai Khandala" days.
The dance steps are simple yet catchy. The lyrics go, "Everybody in the house, check, check, check, check your booty...check..."
It reminds you of Aamir dancing in a similar, white outfit, with an Elvis Presley wig, crooning "Shake that biscuit, baby" in Delhi Belly's post credit song, "I hate you like I love you".
Here, he does a fantastic spoof on Mithun Chakraborty's famous Disco Dancer retro look.
This is the third time Aamir Khan has given us a song which is not a part of the film, but is delightful in the way it is connected to the story and is brought to us as a separate album. Last time, it was with the song he sung himself - a Haryanvi rap for Dangal.
Tanne charo khane chit kar degi
Tere purje fit kar degi...
Aisi dhaakad hai, dhaakad hai..
The actor switched from the middle-aged wrestler with a paunch, to the man rapping about fearless women with amazing finesse and ease.
The way he presents himself in these three songs featuring in the movies produced by him, Aamir knows exactly how and when to serve the Midas touch, not limited to the golden hair or shoes.
They prove Aamir does not need to play the lead role (or even a role - he had no acting credit in Delhi Belly) to make his presence felt. Both Dangal and Secret Superstar are predominantly stories about women empowerment. Each is a class act in which Aamir outdoes himself.
He always leaves the cherry on the cake for the end of the movie. We don't need the Malaika Aroras anymore. Aamir Khan is now the new item star.
Haaye!