Rejuvenating moral values in society: Where do we begin?

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners” - Laurence Sterne.

It may not be wrong to say that as a society today we are at the lowest ebb of morality and personal values. Though there has been a constant deterioration of ethics over the last hundred years - year on year - the last three decades have been the worst.

As instruments of change, mainstream media and social media, heckled and promoted by pseudo-modernism preaching intellectuals has laid too much of emphasis on freedom, materialism, individualism and hedonism in recent days. This is one of the major reasons of this accelerated rot-ism and decay.

Negative news sells more than the positive one, as it thrills the audience and improves TRP ratings. Winds of negativity are so strong and public opinions have been so firmed up that people have almost given up hope. Most feel that situation today is beyond redemption.

Any one talking differently from the already accepted opinions due to this public propaganda is made to look like a fool. This is evident from debates on TV channels, social media discussion threads and cinema. You say something against the opinion and you are literally had and people look at you as if you are an alien. “Propaganda of the people, by the people, for the people”.  So you better toe the line.

”If you can’t beat them, join them” is the safest bet. The law makers too are under pressure to bend to the demands of the popular modernistic brigade and are being pushed into changing laws in the favor of this unruly storm. So everybody is singing the same tune. Everyone sings "Sadda Haqq, aithey rakh” as a personal anthem. But what about, “Sadda Kartavya and sadda Farz”?

"Public opinion is no more than this - what people think that other people think"- Alfred Austin

How do you bring a change and reverse this situation? Colleges have failed to keep students in check; sometimes even supporting them in the name of freedom. Politics plays its own part on the campuses. It is murky all over.

So where do you begin? Our only hope is schools, where almost every child has to go - at least for a few years in the worst case. But can we put the entire burden of instilling values and hold the schools and their teachers responsible to do the cleaning up for us? This may be unfair.

The solution is not so simple but a collective action can reverse the trend. We need to hold each other’s hand.

Here are some suggestions:

Parent-teacher collaboration

Teachers cannot do it alone - let us get this straight. A child spends a good amount of time at home and learns ethics, manners and values from his parents. Children spend time at home but do parents spend time at home?

Today, most don’t - as they have own priorities of work and socialising. They do not take responsibility to get their children in line. The idea of "quality time" is as good as "pampering time". The goal is to create maximum happiness in minimum time. Is it not something like administering intravenous happiness?

Outsource the challenge

School teachers are doing a great job. If there were many good teachers in good old days, there were some bad teachers too. Same is the case today; there are good as well as some bad teachers. Why do we only focus on the bad and don’t look at the larger goodness part of the teaching fraternity?

We are not paying them great salaries but let us at least give them respect and regard for what they do for our children. In the larger context of the society they are doing a yeoman service.

But today, do parents realise this? Does the media realise this? No; unfortunately many parents look at schools only from the point of view of ROI - return on investment - and media treats them as a punching bag.

Instead of being collaborative, parents are discordant. They themselves are unable to tame their children and often blame it on the ugly environment and peer pressure. Many parents do not want to take a stand at home to discipline their kids or be a little strict with them. Some of them may be afraid to do so for whatever good reasons; and others prefer to look the other way.

As parents, if you cannot do it then at least let the schools do their job. If parents have no time as well as gumption to teach values, life skills, punctuality and discipline, then outsource it to the schools. Let the schools do it for them. Don’t interfere.

This was the case four or five decades ago. Parents always told us that "teacher is always right", and in almost all cases this was true. They always supported the teacher, always respected them especially in front of their children. Our parents shared their concerns about their children with teachers and sought solutions and then let them handle it. Our parents were great in this respect.

Gradually things changed for the worse. Today also, the teacher is right but are parents telling this to their kids? Most want to overlook the faults and shortcomings of their own children.  They prefer to complain and not collaborate. They somehow want good grades for their children - yes somehow.

This must change and parents must play a constructive role and not a disruptive one. Hold the hand of the teacher if he or she does something which is good for your child. Please don’t look at the teachers with suspicion all the time. Remember, every teacher is also a parent and understands what is good for a child.

Role of media and the authorities

Media must play a supportive role and don’t indulge in organised bashing of such a fragile community called teachers. Listen to their side too. In fact all the media gurus at the helms of affairs today would have been to school in those good old days and would appreciate what I have said.

The powers that be must also understand the problems of teachers and schools. The constraints they are being made to work under can be demoralising .This one community which is doing a great social service must be given its due respect.

If parents want to be treated as customers then they can’t expect what they expect from teachers. Have we forgotten our old saying that "guru is god"? Or do we say it for the sake of saying it?

Value education in schools - a formal way

We keep tom-tomming about building smart citizens and global citizens but forget to make good human beings first. It is high time we start building moral intelligence in our next generation on priority.

It is time that parents and teachers come together and hold each other’s hand to take this forward. Parents should do their part and let the schools do theirs.

Moral science, now renamed as value education and life skills, must find place in the time table. It is easy to teach physics, chemistry, math and literature but difficult to instill moral values in children at school. There are unfortunately not many takers for building a moral fabric of the nation through schools.

Role models

It is a myth that there are no role models today. The numbers of such greats may have dwindled but there are plenty if you make an effort to look for them. Stories are the most powerful way of convincing people and children are no different.

Powerful characters of Ramayana and Mahabharata have such a telling effect on each one of us. Today many celebrities are highly visible because of TV and social media. Much may not have been written about their personal values as people focus on their other sellable skills. Most have great qualities, which need to be really culled out and presented as value-based mega living.

The message is "you can be rich and famous and yet have your values in place." Stories of such "visible role models" are an instant connect with the children.

We all must come together and make this happen. If we collectively decide as parents, teachers and powers that be, a value-based society can become a reality.

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope”- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Also read: Why Mumbai parents like me are scared of sending our children to school