Why Raj Thackeray is my new superhero

So, Mr Raj Thackeray has given his "consent" for the release of Ae Dil hai Mushkil. All he has "requested" for is that each producer of the filmmakers' guild contribute a few crores to the armed forces fund - and reportedly "some" share of the profit.

It seems to have come as a breath of respite for the entire film industry. They are happy that finally, Mr Thackeray will "allow" their movies to be screened in public places like cinema halls without any danger to human life. 

Mr Thackeray, for those who don't know him otherwise, is NOT the Prime Minister of our country. He is also NOT the chief minister of the state where all the movies are made. He is just Mr Thackeray, a relative of another famous Mr Thackeray (no, not William Makepeace Thackeray).

In the current context, he is much like that father of the groom who threatens to forfeit the wedding if he doesn't get the desired dowry. He is a man of principles and only after ample public display of grovelling, begging and regret on the part of filmmakers, does he "consider" their plight.

Strictly for research related to his legacy, you might as well contact any North Indian taxi driver or pani puri seller of the city where movies are made. They will all tell you exactly what Mr Karan Johar would say about him, that he is a great man. A messiah of masses. El Cid Rodrigo Diaz.

For the longest time in my life, Hindi films have been an essential element of my existence.

From Bachhan to Bhaijaan, when the silver screen super heroes would beat up dozens of bald, vada-pav-sized extras, I could hear myself saying "Bhishoom! Dhishoom!" with them.After the filmmakers' silent surrender to Mr Thackeray, I need to figure out whether I should stop seeking superpowers in silver screen's superheroes. Yes, they can beat villains and hooligans, but I have come to understand that their capes are fake and rented (maybe CGI is the word I am looking for); that as soon as camera shutter shuts, they are very real: helpless, hopeless, frightened human beings.

Of course, I can't blame Mr Johar or Mr Bhatt or Shah Rukh Khan for taking a breather with the "permission" granted by Mr Thackeray. I would have done the same thing if he was standing with a crane outside my house, threatening to compromise my property.

I don't want to talk about the nerve of the nation right now, because, I am just disappointed by the reaction to the situation. The sentiments come from the right place, but where they are being directed, is absolutely, dare I say, pointless. Neither is it helping our armed forces, nor the mood of the nation.

I do agree that for the time being, until sanity is restored between the two nations, any cultural exchange is not the best idea. It has happened before and between the two nations, it's boringly natural - after Kargil War, after 26/11 and rightly so now, after the attacks on our Army. But, I am no one to take a call on such matters. Only few respected people in few respected positions of the government are authorised to make this decision.

I am flabbergasted (happiness is finally using this word) by something else.

After poring over various clickbait sites and sitting through hours of supersonic debates, hoping to be informed about something sensible and meaningful, I am still unsure of how Mr Thackeray impelled himself into this debate and became the central figure.

I am also amused by the way he has been dictating terms in this discussion of which he was not even a panellist in the first place. He is absolute and precise in the way he says things and the best part is, everyone fears him. He doesn't need a Clarke Kent alter ego and he doesn't wear a mask or a cape.

He is always in his "super se upar" mode. I am forced to believe that he was born that way, just an awesome individual. Mr Thackeray, henceforth, is my new superhero. Maybe, in another lifetime, I can have a crush on him.

Oh, his first name is Raj. Naam to suna hi hoga.