How a white woman in Dharamsala deals with persistent romeos

It was a weekend trip to McLeodganj, the city of Tibetans in India. I visited the place after a gap of eight years. It was teeming with tourists and the crowd was no different - just like those you find in Shimla and Nainital. Tourists had made trips to the the hill station to savour the town's popular softy during the summer. Those who came with their friends were helping the liquor shops do brisk business and earn handsome profits. Later, the bottles bought from these shops were being used to deface the once-beautiful Bhagsu Nag waterfall - broken pieces of bottles and the wrappers which were martyred after the chips in them were munched with drinks. Perhaps, we Indians are adept at endearing all beautiful things in this fashion. Most of the visitors did not have anything to do with the Dalai Lama, Kaalchakra temple, Thupka, Thanthuk, Nirvasan, Tibet or Chinese occupation.

Indians remind me of an anecdote narrated to me by Marleen. Hailing originally from Belgium, she has been residing here for the past 13 years on a business visa. She runs a small shop of "thanka" and flags. "Thanka" is a form of painting having originated and flourished in Kashmir and Nepal. Subsequently, it travelled to Tibet in the 13th century. It requires immense hard work to prepare the painting on a fine piece of cloth, patiently making gentle strokes of brush to give shapes and colours to all forms of the Buddha, world view, water, forests, land and beliefs.

During an hour-long discussion, Marleen showed me the paintings and educated me about them, and shared her experiences of this city and India. I'll tell you all. But first listen to this. Marleen keeps two kinds of visiting cards - one for dear Indians and the other for foreigners. The two cards are similar. But just one hole distinguishes one from the other. Marleen punches a hole in the cards she hands over to the Indians - at the place where her phone number is printed, on the last two digits. I'm sure you would have understood why. Still, I'll explain so that you remember it. Indian customers visit her shop, occasionally buy some articles and take her visiting card. Many among them call her up throughout the day and night without any rhyme or reason. Trying to strike a conversation, they ask her questions like "Are you alone?" or "Will you be my friend?" Within seconds their frustration reaches a crescendo. Therefore, Marleen has devised this method.

After reading this, do not presume that she complains about Indians and their culture. On the contrary, she said in plain Hindi, "You are very fortunate that you were born in India. I believe in 'karma' (deeds). Only those who have performed good deeds will take birth in this wonderful country. But responsibility should be associated with this pride, which is generally not evident."

Marleen has complaints not only with the Indians who call her up during the night but also with Oxford - the same university which publishes books. She had bought Oxford's English-Hindi dictionary to brush up her Hindi. To her utter dismay, she discovered that the words "India" and "Indian" were missing.

Before you leave, read one more thing. Many people walk past her shop and before talking to her, they ogle at her. They fail to understand why a woman from the West runs a shop here and listens to Buddhist mantras. They set their eyes on her white-skinned body. But the bold lady folds her hands and says, "Thank you. The road is there."

While narrating this episode, Marleen smiled and said something which her spiritual guru the Dalai Lama also teaches: "I learnt this too in India - to say something with folded hands and not lose my cool while encountering such incidents."

Meanwhile, Marleen is distressed over a new Indian rule for extension of business visa which mandates a minimum turnover of Rs one crore. But her shop is small and the turnover is also low. She has come to India not for earning profit or doing business. "I am here to meditate, to pursue spiritual knowledge and discover this beautiful country. The shop is just a means to that end," she said.

Earlier, she would go back to Belgium once every two years to celebrate Christmas with her family. But now she will go once every year to procure a fresh business visa. Because she thinks it is not a bad idea to work hard in Brussels for a month to spend 11 peaceful months in India.

Beautiful India. Not bad at all…