Indians, as a society, have a box full of things We Don’t Talk About. It’s a huge box and all the things that scare us, embarrass us, or make us feel awkward are tossed into it, where they remain throbbing, struggling to break out despite society as a whole pressing down on that lid.
But, in 2018, three remarkable things managed to free themselves of the box.
Out they popped, and came to rest on our tables, glimmering, quivering, refusing to be ignored. And we finally had to acknowledge them — get outraged or embarrassed by them, but, all the same, talk about them, discuss them, face up to them.
Here are the three talk taboos we managed to break in 2018:
I) Women masturbating
One scene in Veere Di Wedding seemed to shake up the nation and wake many up to the fact that women can — and do — masturbate.
While actor Swara Bhasker was trolled relentlessly for doing the scene, the whole episode did lead to conversations about masturbation, how many women have difficulties orgasming, and how female pleasure continues to be a neglected aspect in heterosexual love-making.
The conversation was carried forward by Karan Johar’s story in the anthology film Lust Stories.
Key takeaways:
II) Menstruation and its many ‘effects’
A Supreme Court judgment allowing women of all ages entry into the Sabarimala Temple in Kerala erupted into a huge controversy.
While the row had many dimensions, one of the core issues was the supposed ‘impurity’ of menstruating women. The Sabarimala deadlock has not yet been broken — women devotees were again forced out of the temple hours before this article was written — but the episode did lead to multiple conversations about how menstruation is a perfectly natural phenomenon, and there is nothing mysterious, sinister, ugly or dirty about it.
In a country where sanitary pads are still hidden away from the eyes of a household’s male members, the very fact that periods dominated primetime TV debates is a step forward.
Key takeaways
III) PCOS is common, dangerous — but treatable
The beautiful Sara Ali Khan chose to talk about her struggle with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) on Koffee With Karan, where she had come with her father Saif Ali Khan. While this was a Bollywood actress admitting she was not a celluloid goddess but very much a struggling human, this was also a daughter talking about reproductive health in front of her father — something many, many Indian women still struggle to do.
Sara speaking about how she struggled to lose weight because of PCOS made more people take notice of the condition. PCOS is scarily common — according to one study, one in every five women in India suffers from it. But, because its symptoms are difficult to pin down on one cause and because women tend to not prioritise their health, it often goes undiagnosed, till it leads to more serious ailments, such as diabetes, infertility or uterine cancer.
The symptoms of PCOS can include weight gain, hirsutism (excessive facial hair) and female balding — all of which can dent the self-image and confidence of a woman. The only way forward is to recognise the symptoms early, so that they can be addressed.
Takeaways
While we still need a lot more awareness and ‘normalisation’ on all these issues, at least, the first small step — of talking about them in a big way — was taken this year.
Here’s to more giant leaps in 2019.
Also read: I went to a friend’s place with a blood-soaked sanitary napkin. Guess what happened?