Man vs Wild with PM Modi: All about the Man when we were wondering about the wild
It was an underwhelming episode, to say the least, of Man vs. Wild, aired on Monday (August 12, 2019) hosted by presenter Bear Grylls and featuring Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
Let me confess, I am no fan of Man vs Wild or Bear Grylls. To the wildlife enthusiast in me, it seems all heavily scripted and scenes seem manipulated. Grylls, to my eyes, seems to torment wildlife under the guise of surviving in the forests in a show of apparent bravado. For me, it is the BBC Wildlife Specials from the good ol’ days and David Attenborough as a presenter.
But on Monday night, I decided to keep my prejudices aside.
The episode was shot in Jim Corbett National Park in Uttarakhand in February this year. It opens with the host trekking across Uttarakhand’s Jim Corbett National Park and meeting the Prime Minister, who welcomes Bear Grylls to India. In response to Grylls' observation that the place is very dangerous and people normally never get out of their vehicles anticipating the danger from wild animals, Modi’s very clichéd response was: "I don't think we should consider this experience dangerous. If we live in harmony with nature, nothing can go wrong.” Really, Mr Prime Minister?
And then the entire show progresses to Grylls conversing in English and Modi responding in Hindi. I wonder if Grylls even understood the responses (assuming there were no interpreters in the wild). It is not just me, the Twitterati was abuzz with the same doubt, even as the show was streaming.
Meanwhile, we were enduring Modi’s never-ending monologues to Grylls' absurd questions. Barely 20 minutes into the show, I had to check if I was still watching Man vs Wild or was it a special episode of Mann ki Baat. Was it about The Man or wild?
The PM’s scripted favourites (read: clichés) were abundantly thrown in. It was a relentless monologue when Mr Modi would not give up without narrating instances and stories from his childhood — nothing we have not heard before. I admire Grylls to keep an interested-in-conversation face when I was yawning minutes into each story.
Here are some gems from the Prime Minister:
"I was born in a very ordinary family. We were very poor, but my life has always been very connected with nature. In winter, I used to use the dew drops to make soap since we couldn't afford an actual soap.”
“My father used to send postcards to all relatives every time it rained in the village. When I was a child I didn't understand the value of that but now I understand why my father bought postcards even though we didn't have money. I now understand the value of rains.”
"My grandmother did not allow my chacha (uncle) open the woodshop saying the family will starve but will not harm the environment.” (And then what happened, sir? How are so many forests being cleared with your blessings?)
"It never occurs to me who I am. I have never cared about anything else but work. The position, the designation doesn't matter."
"My focus has always been development. This trip with you is my first vacation in 18 years."
"Never experienced fear. Never felt nervous, as I am very positive. My temperament is very positive. We should not think of our lives in pieces. Always think of going up,"
"I would take a bath in the pond every day. Once, I saw a baby crocodile in the water body and decided to take it home." (Not very wildlife-friendly, Mr Prime Minister!)
"Someone from outside cannot clean my India, the people of India make India clean."
"We are making great progress, as far as sanitation and hygiene are concerned." (At this point, for a second I dreaded a monologue on the success of the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan. Thank heavens, we were spared!)
The show was centred on Grylls and the PM trying to cross the freezing river on a flimsy raft, with Modi droning on about his apparent love for nature, growing up in poverty, his bravado, positivity and the like all the while. Drenched in the winter rain, Prime Minister insisted that conservation was high on the priority list for him.
After they cross the river, comes the mother of all questions from Grylls — “Prime Minister, answer me one thing — your underpants, are they dry?”
Believe me, Mr Grylls, this is an answer that the nation does not want to know.
As the clock inches (at a snail's pace) signalling the end of the show, came Grylls' scripted eulogy for the Prime Minister — "He is cold, he is wet but he is a hero."
Before that, Grylls prays for Modi and India.
I was praying for the clock to move faster and the show to end.
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