I gave up my Green Card. But this India is giving me second thoughts

Twelve years back we gave up our Green Card and came back to India. Our friends/acquaintances in the US were shocked, their reaction almost felt like we were going back to some country of lepers. Why? Everyone asked us. We didn't even give it a second thought, our parents, siblings, our own people, our home, there was no question of raising kids in a different country, dying a lonely death away from family, away from home. People back home sniggered behind our backs: "They must've lost their job" or "He must've been laid off" or "Maybe they never had a permanent residency in the first place". The whole idea of us returning to the "godforsaken" country out of our own free will and not out of some compulsion was a preposterous idea to them. One person even told me in an ominous way, that my unborn kids will never forgive me for this, at least I should've birthed a few in rapid succession on "phoren" land, and stamped the citizenship on their foreheads before coming back.

Also read: Stop the hypocrisy. Deep down we know Aamir Khan is right

We have never regretted that decision. What wonderful 12 years! My children have cousins all around, doting grandparents, we have time on our hands. Bappa (the husband) lost his father in 2011, we could at least spend a few years with him before he left, I got to know my father-in-law, my children's grandfather who would plant kisses on the soft cheeks of my children and wipe tears of pride every time they crossed a milestone. Our parents have been sick, and we have been there for them, instead of getting worried sick, instead of feeling helpless seven seas away.

People have their reasons to stay back and I understand and respect that, but the reaction towards people who decide to come back is aggressively discouraging, especially from people who have settled down there, almost like a returning NRI, questions their own conviction that life, it's quality is much better in these foreign lands. The reaction from the NRIs and people back home reeks of absolute hatred of their homeland, "Ewww the pollution, the open drains, the work culture, the absolute lack of safety for women, the education system, the lack of freedom". Maybe all of that is true, but why then are the same people, who salivate at the prospect of immigrating, who are so in awe of "Kaneda" and "Umrikaaa" so appalled at Aamir's statement, his wife's concern over growing hatred? Haven't they left their home and decided to settle down for concerns far more material than that?

Also read: Why I chose to live in Delhi and how I fell in love with it

If you ask me, this last one and a half years, for the first time, I have questioned our decision to come back, I have started thinking about sending away my kids, far away from this vitiated atmosphere full of hatred, as soon as possible. True, the hatred always existed, but this last one and half years has seen the emboldening of the agents of hate, people are coming out with their bigotry, it is no longer uncool to be communal but it hypocritical and pretentious to be secular. I worry over the changing school curriculum, distortion of history. I worry over my children being bullied for being progressive, liberal and respectful of all communities (only the other day my daughter got a veiled threat during a beef-eating debate "Do you know what can happen to you? Do you know a man got killed for eating beef?), I worry that my daughters will face increased moral policing in this Hindutva-ised world. I worry that while bigots roam free, can spew hatred, they will be silenced for wanting peace.

This constant "Go to Pakistan!!!" is so so tiring.

But we will stay, you go to Mordor!!!! (or Kaneda or Umriiika).