Good Indian culture: We like foreigners, just not with Goddess tattoos

"Don't deprive us of our right to boorishness," is the chant doing the rounds these days; in conjunction with the right to snigger, insult, insinuate, denigrate and humiliate. All in the name of defending and claiming what's ours. Coming full circle in the unprovoked attack on Australian tourists Matthew Gordon (21) and Emily Kassianou (20) is the awe of white skin turned on its head. Blacks and the occasional Japanese or Chinese national can walk down the streets of our country without eliciting the slightest interest. Whites, on the other hand, are fawned upon, greeted, reverently followed, treated to bits of American pop culture, serenaded and stared at with a fixed, unblinking stare. Look at the Indians in the vicinity of a gora and you'll notice fake accents being slipped on and casual references dropped about being in New York just last season.

The Indian friend accompanying a white person on sightseeing tours is the object of envy, their easy chatter a source of jealous unease. It's not just limited to public spaces, private parties congeal around the dishy, white people who show up because heck, photo-ops! For the next few days, you can show off your firang friend, their clothes, their oh-so-cool way of talking, their pleasant surprise at everything cute. Why then, were those diners in that restaurant in Bangalore so keen to persecute the Australian duo? Because if there's anything Indians love more than appearing cool, it's gloating over misfortune and feeding off a sense of power. As a nation, we love to crow over and act patronising, whether dispensing knowledge with the air of an expert or displaying concern for a friend.

In this case, a bloated sense of importance goaded by their collective strength was all the justification they needed. The diners could feel their taunts, threats and jibes having the desired effect on the couple; they were getting alarmed, backing off, trying to pacify the crowd.

Into this atmosphere, reeking of the tradition of witch-hunting, comes a figure of authority and promptly sides with the baying mob. Any sense of relief that Gordon and Kassianou may have felt quickly dissipated. They were lectured upon the limits of propriety in India and how the idea of culture in sacrosanct. Its many manifestations, devout, profane, silly or cliché are belligerently guarded and all irreverent trespassers promptly shown their place.

Gordon was made to write an apology in cringe-worthy terms that said he was delighted to have received an "education in body art". The offending tattoo in question was that of Yellamma, a goddess of considerable stature in the states of Karnataka, Tamil Nadu, Kerala and Andhra Pradesh. It didn't end there, he was made to show the tattoo of Ganesha on his back, which received the approval of the policemen and the crowd. The latter had diligently followed them to observe to the end the fate of people who fool around with other people's cherished cultures. Only then were Gordon and Kassianou let off, spent and utterly humiliated. Later, the event was rubbished and trivialised by the police, with a united camp of citizens saying that the racist Aussies deserve a taste of their own medicine, who do they think these privileged goras are, etc.

The hypocrisy surrounding the incident is more nuanced than allegations of culture stained. If these very same Australians happened to be taking selfies and any one of these many persecutors happened to be nearby, they would have happily inserted themselves into the frame. But, here was an instance of culture being insulted, smeared and taken for granted and they couldn't just stand mute and let it happen. They squared their shoulders as if marching into victory and did the most courageous thing possible - started taking photos of the tattoo to use in a social media campaign against such brazen defilement of Indian culture. The couple then were foolish enough to ask the diners to stop taking photos of them. Bad move, Aussies. The sort of incoherent diatribe liberally sprinkled with propaganda and unreason that shapes mass public opinion was unleashed on the unsuspecting couple. It was persecution of a vicious sort, fuelled by resentment and righteousness.

Then again, these same Indians wax eloquent about the beauty, history and culture of India, refer to the country's famed hospitality. Why then, the sudden eagerness to bristle, turn into a prickly person of barbs? Because they feel somewhat justified. Mobs that derive legitimacy from justified bullying are as bad as mobs that run amuck for the fun of it. The harassers felt legitimised in taking charge of the situation and showing the foreigners their place. At least they were warned before they even considered venturing out in bermuda shorts and running into more trouble with other locals (insert Bambi eyes here) again.

The very people who drop what they're doing in a split second to scurry over and derive vicarious pleasure from a stalled car or an impromptu scuffle felt the need to create a scene. Hurt religious sentiments, they say pompously, as if that is all the explanation needed, all the reasoning required to justify unwarranted persecution.