You can’t impose bans, even if it is a show of sexuality

The confession right up: I am not a big fan of PDA. When living in London in my early 20s, there were few things more annoying than hopping onto the tube early morning, the day's to-do list on your mind and an assignment ahead, and be confronted with a couple that kissed noisily all the way from Edgware to Oxford Street.

In India, it's equally, shall we say, weird, to be taking a walk in Lodhi Garden with your nephew or alone, wandering off towards the less populated picnic-key spots while following a bird or butterfly, and beating a hasty retreat as you come across a couple all over each other - in a bid to protect their privacy and somehow, one's own.

PDA is annoying, disgusting and awkward - depending on the situation.

If it's a family member suddenly turning around and getting moochy with his girlfriend on a cousins' night out - I go with disgusting. Really, can't you wait till you get home - and somehow I really don't want to be seeing the kissing skills of my little cousin, who I last remember as having peed in his pants. The two memories somehow jumble up and become sort of weird in a way that makes his act icky, and, according to me, avoidable in a way that peeing in his pants at 5 was not.

If it's friends suddenly going PDA at a gathering, it's awkward. It ruins the bonhomie, invades the friendly, non-sexual structure of the group, and is rude. It inevitably breaks up the gathering which has to spend the rest of the time trying not to look in the direction of the PDA-affected, while keeping the evening going. You go back home a little pissed off - why join us if you were going to be all over each other, should have just stayed at home.

So no, I am not a fan of PDA. But then, I'm not a fan of men in half sleeves strutting around with steroid-filled biceps. I also hate air conditioning turned up to freezing in most public places. And as a vegetarian, I am disgusted with the smell of mutton from the dish directly placed in front of me at the table at a formal dinner.

All of my likes and dislikes, aesthetic or conviction-based, are my own and I have a right to them.

However, so do others.

There may be many reasons why people can't withhold PDA - sometimes, in fact often in India, as we know, young people live in conservative joint families or cramped homes and have no other place but parks (Delhi) and seasides (Mumbai) to get to know each other in all ways, including sexually. Some people may just spontaneously get in the mood - who is to say which of us have not had a moment of human weakness - whether it's having to stop the car to go on the highway, or turning around and kissing a spouse or boyfriend at the mall, taken up by the heat of the moment or something just too adorable he/she might have said.

Then, there are others, who just like it, perhaps. Like people who flaunt their labels, wearing shirts with the logo visible, PDA people like to show off their sexuality and shove it in others' faces in public. Can one impose a ban on the vulgarity of fashion victims along with that of PDA victims?

You simply cannot be a moral police on people's tastes and habits, as long as they are not harming anyone.

Which brings us to the question: is PDA harmful?

This is where I argue in favour of PDA.

To illustrate my point, I take an instance from the Kiss of Love event that was interrupted in Delhi this week. Those protesting against the event are reported to have challenged the women participants at the Kiss of Love event to give them a kiss if they so believed in public kissing!

The minute you crack down on any form of expression - whether it is dressing or kissing - you are stepping into dangerous territory in a society especially like India, where mindsets are still narrow: lawyers still present the argument of sexual activity as proof that a woman could not have been raped, and sex offenders defend their crime by saying a woman was "asking for it" by the clothes she was wearing.

PDA can be annoying, offensive or just fine, depending on your temperament and your beliefs, but banning it is definitely doing more harm than good.

Criminalising any form of self-expression is against the laws of nature and the tenets of democracy. Supporting PDA does not mean celebrating it, or even indulging in it oneself. To support PDA is not a support of PDA as an act, but a defence of self-expression and identity. To each his - and her - own. As long as no harm done. Our personal sensibilities must always come secondary.