What Pratyusha Banerjee's suicide says about our attitude towards depression

Depression is in the news once again, this time due to the tragic death of Pratyusha Banerjee, a popular young television actor. While the details of the death are still being investigated, the discussions around it bring up some recurring themes.

There is the natural shock that comes with most untimely deaths. There are questions as people grapple to understand why someone, who seemed to have it all, would choose to end her life. There is also an undercurrent of judgment, as some ask why she was not "strong enough" to face her problems.

Also read - Depression in India is rising, but we can't even talk about it

These reactions are not unique to India. They stem from ignorance about the nature of the disease, its symptoms, and the scale of the problem. Most people don't realize that depression strikes across the world, every single day. According to the World Health Organization, over 8,00,000 people die due to depression related suicides every year. An estimated 350 million people of all ages suffer from depression globally. These are staggering numbers for a problem that is barely understood.

When a celebrity like Pratyusha commits suicide, or Deepika Padukone makes a public confession about her struggle with the illness, it brings the issue into public focus temporarily. This is typically followed by a few weeks of superficial discussions around it. Then, people forget, and move on to more pleasant things.

The problem often starts with the inability to recognise the symptoms. Many a time, depression is brushed off as a case of "normal" sadness or worse, as attention seeking behaviour. Consequently, depressed people feel diminished for being unable to control their negative feelings, or articulate their despair. They shut down and suffer in silence.

It is critical for people to realise that depression is not ordinary sadness. Everyone feels down in the dumps sometimes, but when that feeling persists for two to three weeks, it is a red flag. When the sadness is accompanied by symptoms such as loss of appetite, erratic sleep, inexplicable fatigue, lack of interest in normal activities, bouts of weepiness, and feelings of guilt, shame or low self-esteem, it indicates that there is a deeper problem. Under such circumstances, it is imperative to seek professional help at the earliest.

Also read - Eat more, think less: How not to respond to depression

The reasons for developing depression vary, and it usually involves a combination of elements. There may be genetic factors that make some people susceptible. It may be linked to hormonal changes due to thyroid problems, menopause or childbirth. Depression could also be triggered by situational factors such as bereavements, divorce, life-threatening illnesses, financial crisis, and drug and alcohol abuse. Research indicates that continuing stress, such as being in abusive relationships, long-term unemployment, or prolonged isolation and loneliness, are more likely to cause depression rather than immediate stressors.

People often wonder what depression feels like. There is no standard description. At the beginning of each psychotherapy session, I ask my clients, "How are you feeling today?" Their responses vary: Flat line. Numb. Sad. Weepy. Unmotivated. Suicidal. Hopeless. These words convey a range of emotions but the overall impact is quite uniform. There is a sense of deep gloom, persistent sadness, and helplessness, which refuses to abate. Some describe it as a grey cloud. Others say it is like a heavy stone lodged in the chest. The pain they feel from it is often literal and physical.

Also read - Deepika Padukone’s story is so many of ours

As depression begins to impact a person's daily life, it also affects the people around them. Frustrated family and friends often cope by shaming the sufferer, minimising their experience, or labeling them. Depressed people often hear variations of statements such as: "Stop moping around", "Look at the less fortunate and count your blessings", or "You're crazy". None of these responses are helpful. They only magnify the sense of isolation and aggravate the situation.

For depressed individuals and their loved ones, it is important to understand a few key things. First, depression is an illness that often needs medical attention. It is usually not possible to "just snap out of it".

Second, there are effective treatments, which include psychotherapy and anti-depressants, depending on the severity of the case.

Third, while depression-related suicides are a reality, they are not the norm. If addressed early on, many do not spiral down to take their lives.

Fourth, as with other illnesses, recovery requires time and patience. There is no standard timeframe that applies to all.

Finally, external appearances may be deceptive. People who appear to have everything going for them externally, may be depleted internally. Some mask their problem by acting normal, due to the stigma. Others do so as they don't have the language to express their overwhelming pain.

Also read - What drove Pratyusha Banerjee to commit suicide

Novelist CS Lewis summed up the problem when he wrote, "Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say 'my tooth is aching' than to say 'my heart is broken'."