#MyChoice for Indian women, really?

Women's issues are back in the buzz and as always, it revolves around their safety, choices and what they should wear. As my virtual world stands divided on the rights and wrongs of demanding gender equality, compelling me to take sides and prove my feminism, I wonder, how does one really empower a woman in a world where she is still struggling to find her own identity. In a world that is more grey than black-and-white. #MyChoice is a mere hashtag when millions of women do not have a voice, or options.

What would empowerment mean to a woman living in the rural interiors of this country, where even the right to save the female foetus in her womb is not hers? Can it be understood by a woman living in urban India, who is educated, has the choice to marry or stay single, to have kids or not, and is fighting for her own right to be treated equally and at par with male colleagues at her workplace? They represent two very different worlds, each with their own understanding of freedom, and of equality.

I feel, this superficial manifestation of an empowered woman, as shown in the latest video by Vogue, one that cannot really exist in the real world, will leave all those women who aspire for a kinder world for themselves in a lurch, never really knowing if it's a fight worth fighting, because the goals seem so unattainable from where they stand.

So how can we really empower women in a country as diverse as ours? Where the realities of their existence are decades apart. I think it starts with talking about the basics, about taboos associated with women, where their opinion has never really mattered.

A classic example of the taboos that exist in our society is what happened in the case of Rupi Kaur and her post on a photo sharing site. Last week, a Sikh poet studying at the University of Waterloo, Canada, Rupi Kaur's image of a patch of menstrual blood on her sheets and the sweats she was wearing, which had been posted on Instagram, evoked both appreciation and disgust, among both men and women.

This image which is a part of her photo series project for a visual rhetoric course was subsequently taken down by Instagram citing violation of the "Community Guidelines", leading Rupi Kaur to put up a fight for her right to express.

The incident is a grim reminder of how orthodox we are in our approach with many issues that plague women today. It is amazing, even in this day and age, when we have travelled to the moon and back, menstruation continues to be an uncomfortable subject for many - one we would rather not discuss, not just in India but across the world. Despite the fact that it is the basis of our very existence.

Even today, in many households, a woman menstruating is considered impure and unholy. Not only is she considered ritually impure, but anything a menstruating woman sits or rests on is also considered impure. Which is why in many cultures women are forced to live in seclusion during their periods. They are forbidden from entering temples and shrines or even touching certain foods for fear of contaminating these with their impurity.

While such cruelty against women might seem alien to those of us who live in cities, for something that is as natural as sleeping, eating or breathing, it is a way of life in many places. Imagine being made to feel ashamed of something that is not even in your control for a significant part of your life?

The next imperative question is, how and when did this the course of nature become a curse for women?

If you dig deeper, you realise that this was not always the case. History tells us that not very long ago, most communities revered women who were menstruating.

Women who were menstruating were asked to live in a separate hut for fear of attracting animals and thereby posing a danger for the entire community. They were believed to be filled with special powers during this time and were expected to perform sacred rituals in seclusion for the good of their community. Women who came out of seclusion at the end of their period were revered for their vision and wisdom gained during this time and it was used to guide the community in matters of food gathering, war and survival. Far from being considered bad and impure, menstrual blood was considered powerful and used in many rituals and in making magic potions. In fact, a lot of red used in many ceremonies and religious rituals today can be traced back to the use of menstrual blood.

How and when this changed into a means to suppress and control women, no one really knows, but the fact remains that these beliefs were manipulated to dominate womankind.

I am sure, a lot of the taboos that exist today might have a different history to tell.

So what would empowerment mean to me in this scenario? How about easy access to personal hygiene products during these times? Being treated as normal, as any other individual, and not made to feel like an outcast?

When we don't have control over how we are perceived by the society for something as personal and elemental as our menstruation cycles, can we really sleep talk ourselves into believing that by claiming we are as equal as men, we will be treated as such, too?

Empowerment, to me, would mean making a woman aware that she has a right to her choices. Now, that could be as basic as sanitation or as significant as knowing she has the right to give or hold back her consent on any issue that affects her, be it physically or mentally.

Empowerment would be when a woman who is illiterate knows that it is her choice to stand up for her daughter's right to go to school. Empowerment would be when we are not called feminists for speaking our mind, at home, at work or in public.

Empowerment would be when we can dispel the taboos that make our society regressive, whether it is with regard to single parenting, divorce, sexual preferences, the ideal wife, daughter-in-law, gender roles and so many others, that try to define us as men and women and our existence.

However, it would really and only matter when, it percolates down to the lowest denominator, to the last woman standing.

Else, you and I can sit within the comforts of our homes or in news studios and talk of our sexual priorities - especially in a country where 75 per cent still associate sex with an act for making babies than for pleasure - and rejoice in our new found pseudo empowered status.