Why married Indian women have affairs

Kavita. 36. Warm. Friendly. Highly accomplished. Doctor. Mother. Married.

After ten years of marriage, three vacations and one child, Kavita realised that she needed more in life. She went away on solo vacations, took up yoga, found herself in meditation and still needed more.

She had so much energy. That much love to give. And at 36, she could not waste it by sitting at home and waiting for her husband to figure out what she needed. That’s when David entered her life and she started having a rocking affair.

Why are so many married women having affairs? Here are 5 reasons:

1. Loneliness – You’re at home with your husband and he’s watching TV and you’re trying desperately to make conversation. On a weekend you want to go on a date and he takes you to the movies. All the while he is on the phone checking his emails and chatting with someone else.

Also read: Why Indian women cheating more is actually a good thing

And if half the time he’s travelling or comes home late at night, a woman is bound to feel lonely. She feels there’s no connection! She will reach for the closest man in her life – a childhood friend, the funny colleague, her brother’s best friend.

It all starts with the thought, "I’m so lonely. I just want to be appreciated."

Husbands need to engage with their wives, not just fulfil their duty. They need to bring back some romance and not take their wives for granted.

Also read: Why Indians have sex in bushes and feel dirty about porn

2. Lust – All women have body issues. No one is completely happy with who they are. So if a woman has gone to a party and a man has paid her a compliment sincerely and had a great conversation with her engaging her mind, you can be sure she will be lusting for him.

He may not be very handsome or ideal for the long term but he’s great for a good conversation and a shag maybe. It starts with the thought, "I need someone to be attracted to me."

Husbands need to have a passionate weekend/evening with their wives occasionally where the focus is on her and trying new things in bed to show how much they lust after her.

3. Nurturing – All women need attention and if there’s a man who’s giving her some attention and cares about her feelings, the affair is bound to happen.

All it takes is for a man to ask her, "Have you eaten? Are you ok?"

Women are born nurturers and do a lot in the day that husbands take for granted. If a man takes control of looking after her, he will have her heart.

Also read: Young India wants to have sex, don't ruin it

Husbands can truly care for their wives by helping with children, taking them out for dinners when she doesn’t feel like cooking, checking if she’s okay intermittently through the day.

4. Intellectual High – There are so many women who have affairs within their office or with men in creative fields. It’s because they’re attracted to intelligence, wit and creativity.

Most husbands refuse to share what’s happening at their work place, or talk about how they’re feeling and choose to let themselves lounge around at home saying they’re "tired."

It becomes boring for the woman who ultimately will seek out interesting new men. And if this man finds her interesting too, then she feels she’s matched to his creative energy and an affair happens.

No matter how dull the day was, it’s important for a husband to share it with his wife and always listen to her positively about her day as well.

Also read: Why single Indian women are hooking up with married men

5. Money & Power – Several men like being in middle management. They are comfortable with going to work, earning enough and coming back on time.

Without any hobbies, interests or ambition, a man can wither away and take his relationship down the drain as well. A woman is attracted to a man with plans, who wants to earn more, who is driven and wants to go further with his life.

She is even more excited when this man asks her for her opinion and follows through with it. If he is already in a position of power, she feels an adrenaline rush if an important man thinks she’s attractive!

Husbands should remember why their wives chose them in the first place and bring back that drive and ambition.