Let's cleavage the "compliment"
There is an awful lot wrong with Bollywood, but once in a while it strikes the right note. Deepika Padukone was told the "cleavage show" caption for her picture was in fact a "compliment", after the actress publicly dressed down the prominent newspaper.
One can't help but look back at all these other "compliments" that get showered on women. You don't have to be a Bollywood actress who wears a comfortable dress. You could be any woman and still have to deal with being bullied or forced to wear a mask of smiling anger when you get these "compliments".
For my share, I have been called "healthy" by many salesmen especially in lingerie shops, who will yank the elastic of an XS size underwear to say, "sorry apka size nahin milega". A global shortage of "large" size clothes has been declared by buffoons who promptly, try to assuage my feelings by saying, "aapka healthy size hai." What is that supposed to mean? Is it a compliment? Does he know from my face that I eat all my veggies? Wow!
Even in spaces where you feel there will be evidence of intelligent life, you get "compliments" like an old "friend" who was told off for staring at a woman's breasts, he moaned on chat, that the lady was being unfair, "I was just telling her that she looked lovable". He has been un-friended promptly. What are these? Compliments? I doubt. In fact the last time I checked even the waiters at restaurants seem to admonish you - lovingly. "Yeh khaane ka order aap ke liye kam hoga!" or If I order a stiffer drink than my male friend, when the whiskey arrives it will be placed under his nose. I then have to correct the waiter who has promptly placed lemonade on my side. But any appeal to common sense is placed aside, pat with a smug reply: "Mujhe laga yeh saab ka drink hoga, aap toh ladies hain na." So I am a lady. Thanks. But no thanks.
Behind the veneer of being modern and of well-educated, the "compliments" keep cropping up in spaces that celebrate equality. Even those with encyclopaedic knowledge of etiquette, manners and even feminism, will end up giving you a few reminders since they are "women-friendly". These barbs disguised as compliments have been hurting women at all ages.
"It is for your own good." Is the most common taglines usually proceeded by how a girl who is pretty must not venture out into the city without a protective measure. This "protection" will be either a boyfriend or a brother-figure. The need for an escort is the biggest insult that the woman has to bear, or is it a compliment that "everyone" wants to walk her home.
Deepika's is not a one-woman war. Cleavages are discussed not just on Twitter or Facebook, but in living rooms where a quick once-over or a shawl is offered for a girl who has not been "smart" with her dress sense, how can anyone know that she has breasts. God save us!
But if we are being broadminded in the way that our brains fall out of our skulls, where the nation is summoned with a "cleavage show" caption to look at a woman like an object, and disguise it as a "compliment", then, well, why not get equal. Maybe next time we can point and say "penis show" every time a male model or actor wears tight pants or baniyan ads can be captioned "beefcake takes off clothes, once again". Let us all who harp about equality share the "compliments" too. What say?