12 New Year resolutions of a 'nobody'

“Why should I not publish my diary? I have often seen reminiscences of people I have never even heard of and I fail to see - because I do not happen to be a 'somebody'"

- Charles Pooter in The Diary of a Nobody.

"Somebodies" often have a dire need for their opinions to be heard and taken seriously, "nobodies" have no such pressure. They are happy to listen and when things get outrageous, react.

Recently, a bestselling Indian author told another that he didn’t need to read anything and if he wanted literature he would write it himself. It is like my mother, who, every time, we wanted to eat fries or a pizza would say, "Beta ghar pe bana denge (we will make it at home)".

Imagine if all writers just wrote, who would read? Who is going to be the arbiter of taste? Therefore, in a society of achievers and go-getters, being a nobody is a rare and somewhat privileged position. It is we who decide.

Never undermine a nobody, but by saying that, am I not already aspiring to be a somebody?

So what are resolutions of a nobody? Here they are:

1. While on the road, I will not treat the zebra crossing like the finishing line of a race. And I will definitely not inch towards it, pressurised by incessantly “honking” bullies tail ending your car. I will use the rear-view for its intended use rather than as a make up mirror.

2. I will believe in the car’s fuel indicator and take the reserve level seriously.

3. I will end conversation starters such as “Hi, what’s your wi-fi password?”, “Is the wi-fi signal strength good?”, “Do you have a charger?”, “Do you have a dongle?”, “(To avoid using the wi-fi password as a conversation starter and ending the moment I get the password).

4. I will not walk into a pole while my eyes are fixed on my smartphone. I will start saving phone numbers with a proper address tag.

5. I will not feel guilty about eyeing a good looking man.

6. I will indulge in window shopping and not be pressurised by the salesman enquiring about what I am looking for.

7. I will be kind to stray dogs.

8. I will not bargain with vegetable vendors, given that I do not think twice before splurging in a beauty parlour.

9. I will keep the workstation clean and organised. This is a tough goal indeed.

10. I will avoid packaged foods and cook fresh meals for myself and family.

11. I will pay bills on time rather than experiencing the adrenaline rush of the “last day” queue.

12. I will save enough to go on an international trip rather than going to hill stations I have visited many times before.