Modiji, now I know what Swachh Bharat really means

There’s nothing more venomous than being a secular liberal these days. One must apologise for being one. All the ills of our country are because of people like us. 

I accept it. So, I have chosen not to be one.

I will vehemently take offence at anyone who eats pork or drinks alcohol here on. I would urge various dietary groups to spot similar such offences. Let the Jains come out on the street and heckle every onion and garlic-eating person. I would encourage people to protest against the offenders. This is how we become a country, which achieves true democracy and freedom of expression. We will no longer silently suffer these “other” people with their unique dietary habits. Our current government has created the required secured atmosphere where we the silence-bearing majority can openly speak against such sensory offences. Protest is our right and we shall do that. 

However, if during a protest few lose their heads and end up lynching someone, it should be called an accident. We’re a Hindu vegetarian country, we cannot tolerate animal slaughter. Pig is no less an animal than cow. And as for alcohol, our hegemonic, patriarchal, supra-moral authority RSS also frowns over it. Even, Gandhi didn’t like it. I would begin by urging the more morally governed states like Maharashtra, MP, Rajasthan, Haryana, et al. to immediately enforce a ban on alcohol and pork along with the beef ban. It is because of secular liberals’ philosophy of each-to-his-or-her-own-kitchen, my-mouth-my-stomach-my-food-choice that we are in this present moral chaos. 

If we had been free to air our views over last 68 years this situation would never have arisen. The secular liberals are to be sorely blamed for the Dadri lynching. In an era where we are thinking of going digital, we’re pursuing development; how could a man even think of storing beef-like meat in his house and derail the national agenda. 

The other thing I have learnt is that religion is sacrosanct. We can’t touch it. Secularism’s new definition is we must accept all religions in totality with all their flaws. Unquestioning loyalty and devotion are bigger virtues than reason. Reason necessarily sows disbelief and dissent. Reason is the garb that secular liberals wear and throw at us. Don’t fall for it. These people with their reason are disturbing the majority ethos, the prevalent social order. They want to restore the chaos and falsehood, the tyranny and subjugation of the medieval ages. Therefore, I support ban on any literature, artwork, film, performance, just about anything that undermines any religion. Or even better, I support people like Dinanath Batra who without enforcing any ban are able to remove meretricious literature from the main discourse. Here’s a list of few of the banned literature. 

I support the Catholic Secular Forum (that kinda sounds oxymoron like Hindutva Secular Forum or Wahabi Institute for Secularism) for cancelling the premiere show of the play Agnes of God last Monday here in Mumbai. Such blasphemy cannot be allowed. 

It’s quite certain now that this country needs a benign dictator. Someone who understands democracy, allows righteous religious anger, yet governs with a firm hand. And there’s no one better than our current prime minister. For the first time in 68 years we have a visionary leader. No one has left a global imprint like him and here we are quibbling about fringe lynch mobs, appeasing non-deserving minorities, and indulging in liberal jumlebaazi. 

Instead of focusing on the good that these foreign trips will bring the secular liberal media as always is discrediting the trips with news items about hand sanitisers, I-know-where-the-camera-is, flag memorabilia signing, etc. I shall desist from all such distraction. And as a friend of mine says on Twitter, will tune in to Mr Modi’s cosmic station.

I am reformed now. I am swachh.