India: From a nation of sex maniacs to virgins

In all the furore over the various bans being imposed upon us, we the citizens of India have failed to see the bigger picture. Do not for a minute be mistaken that these bans aren’t well thought out.

If you examine the nature of these bans, you will realise that they are not arbitrary and are only going to help control India’s ever expanding population, thereby ensuring us a more economically robust future.

Let’s consider the ban on beef. Any fool who understands the impact of food on the human body and mind will know that red meat, according to ayurveda, increases one’s sex drive. Increased libido leads to increased sexual desire that leads to sexual activity and eventually more children. By red flagging red meat the Maharashtra government has, in fact, done us a huge favour.

Also read: Who's Modi to discipline us?

Now regarding the porn ban, as Subramanian Swamy says, it was imposed to prevent Indians from becoming sex maniacs. The wise Mr Swamy could not have been more precise in his analysis of the impact of porn on Indians. We must consider if we really want to go on living in a nation of sex maniacs. Let’s not live in denial, we have been dealing with our burgeoning population only because we are a nation of sex maniacs with generous help from 857 websites dishing out pornographic material.

Also read: Emergency is long over Mr Modi, don't impose a new one

Sadly, we can’t see a good thing when it stares us in our faces and our uncalled for outcry over the porn ban has unfortunately made the government revoke it. With the government playing cyber nanny, I for one was pleased that I would not have to worry about installing the software by the same name to prevent my children from stumbling across explicit material; but alas, my joy was short-lived!

Moving on, the recent raids conducted by the Mumbai Police at Madh Island hotels, from where consenting couples were smoked out of the comfort of their rooms and led into the confines of the local police station for some S&M style slapping, were also for our general good.

How can we fail to comprehend that this government wants to raise a nation of virgins who can focus more on being productive instead of being reproductive. I am not saying everybody in India is having sex to reproduce, but we couldn’t have touched a population of 1.2 billion by heavy petting alone.

If you just nip copulation in the bud by generally discouraging any sexual activity, virtual or real, you will eventually prevent a population explosion. Yes, that is what this government is thinking. So let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth and for once be grateful to the government for its far-sightedness and commend it for its alacrity in working towards a better India.