Demonetisation blues: 10 hacks to survive your neighbourhood ATM queue

When I was in college, there was a wave of T-shirts with funky slogans on them. One of them read, "My dad is an ATM", a pun for broke college students who often relied on their parents for pocket money.

Cut to my professional life, where after the government’s surprise move of demonetisation last week, I realised how much I miss the regular flow of income (read pocket money).

I so wished to wear the same T-shirt and hoped that my dad would get the message. But hard luck and no cash pushed me to stand in the long queue to get the precious little of my money from the ATM.

If impatience could be a virtue, it is best displayed in this scenario. So if you are stuck in the same place, here are ten hacks to survive your neighbourhood ATM queue:

1. Try and see if there is someone familiar already standing in the line and strike up the old friendship. A five-minute conversation to get in the spot is worth it.

2. Remember your neighbourhood banker who once tried to flirt with you? Not a bad idea to look out for him/her and see if you can sneak inside the bank and get ahead on the cash counter.

3. Strike a conversation with people right behind you and ask them to hold your spot. Meanwhile, go for a three-hour movie and come back just in time to enter the ATM.

4. Feminism works and how. Raise your voice for women’s rights and rally enough support for a separate queue that saves time (It actually worked outside the Indian Bank ATM at Connaught Place).

5. Use your time in the queue to order for groceries on e-commerce sites, because even if you get the money, it is unlikely that you will have any energy left to go shopping.

6. Download your favourite mobile phone game when you hit the queue. Don’t forget to carry a back-up charger, lest you want the battery to run out in the next 3-4 hours.

7. Order a Domino's Pizza which has a limited time guarantee. By the time the delivery boy spots you amongst the hundreds in the queue, you have a chance to get your meal for free.

8. Lessons learnt from grandmom: Utilise your time, carry a sweater knitting kit in your bag. By the time your turn comes, who knows you will have a woollen muffler ready for the coming winters.

9. Missing out on social life when you are standing in the queue? Get creative on Facebook, click pictures and share on Instagram, donning Amitabh’s famous Kaalia look and say, "Hum jahan khade ho jaate hain, line wahin se shuru hoti hai."

10. Use the time to reflect on your life, seek forgiveness for your sins and pray to escape the ultimate wrath of God: cash getting over in the ATM by the time your turn comes.

Also read: 4 disastrous effects of demonetisation that Modi ignored

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