Why did you spam people about your fast, Chandrababu Naidu?

Dear Naidu garu,

Happy belated birthday! Don't worry, you needn't respond with your trite message. I saw you spamming everyone who wished you a happy birthday with your trite response:

Why did you spam people about your fast Naidu garu? Was it because you wanted everyone to know that you undertook the Dharma Porata Deeksha? You're probably not aware but people were already talking about it - the 12-hour fast which supposedly cost Rs 30 crore according to some reports in the media. Whoa! You were trolling us, weren't you? Because some people criticised you in June 2017 when someone filed an RTI and found out that you splurged Rs 18 lakh on a dinner you hosted in February 2017 for 19 judges.

I reckon it does cost a lot to bedeck the venue and erect a grand and regal looking seating arrangement for you to sit on and look like a timid school boy even as people continue to prostrate in front of you. I saw a few pictures of the Deeksha and it brought me memories of another Deeksha you did last June - Nava Nirmana Deeksha.

It was in the week that Rahul Gandhi came to Guntur to demand a special category status for Andhra Pradesh. You organised a week-long Nava Nirmana Deeksha and told people why the special package is better than the special category status. You postured as though you were against the state bifurcation, even though you wrote to the President of India two times agreeing for the state to be bifurcated.

You also claimed at a rally that Telangana is a reality because of you. And now this Deeksha to demand special category status, followed by spamming people like a repetitive kid at school. Why Naidu garu? Why?

You know, the other day - since the media won't ask you or tell us - I was telling my friend about all your political acrobatics, summersaults and other gimmickry.

My friend who is a trapeze artist, tried following all your stances and the poor bloke ended up with a severe bout of vertigo. When he recovered, I offered him some idlis and he passed out again. I later learned that he felt dizzy because the idlis reminded him of the "idli maker" design of the state Assembly your government came up with.

I am sure that also cost a bomb. After all Norman Foster doesn't come cheap. My poor friend, I thought he was only scared of pakoras, but you managed to put the fear of idlis into him. Anyway, he always has your name on his lips when he bounces on the trampoline these days. He tells me when he does that, he gets his summersaults right.

Idlis and pakoras aside, what was the purpose of your Deeksha Naidu garu? Oh wait, I need to specify which of the Deekshas, right? Ok, so what was the purpose of advocating the special package in the Nava Nirmana Deeksha and what is the purpose of this new Dharma Porata Deeksha?

Was it a change of heart? Or change of mind? Do you change your heart and mind often just to reassure yourself that you possess the two? While we're used to your constant change of heart and mind, posterity might be confused. Just imagine kids of the future who in their exams have to match your Deekshas to your objectives. Poor kids, will be confused with all the Deekshas, Jayanthis and "Shraddha-Anjali", just as a particular "rising-son" couldn't tell between Jayanthi and Vardhanthi. Have a heart Naidu Garu!

So kindly let us citizens know why you are doing these Drama Deekshas… er! Dharma Deekhas. Don't wait till you next birthday or bother about spamming people. You could just tell us through the many journalists that you have officially recruited. They will find a way to sugar coat things and convince people that all Deekshas are good and in the interest of the people. But whatever you do, please don't sulk and go on a fast again. It is costing us a bomb.

Also read: What Sachin Tendulkar's birthday means to me, a sports journalist