Rs 10 to be chocolate brown colour, what next - flavoured notes?

Post the November 8, 2016 demonetisation drive (was it that long ago?), Indian currency has seen the most extreme makeover. At one point, currency notes in India looked old and drab, but the Narendra Modi government is making sure the new ones slowly smuggle in all the colours of the rainbow, and more.

Bright cyan, bright pink, saffron/orange, grey (but the suave kind) and chocolate brown, India’s currency right now looks like material for a Lady Gaga dress. But will the rainbow die anytime soon? Hopefully not. Modi government ought to be remembered for innovation in currency centuries from now. For that, here are a few suggestions:

1) Now that all the notes are in a variety of colours (that some find ugly), it is time to venture in to flavours. It is no secret that a variety of flavours has given a boost to the condom industry. It doesn’t matter that the flavour serves zero purpose; what matters is, in this age of late capitalism, consumers need a multitude of options that drive them crazy. Imagine all that can be accomplished by a normal citizen suddenly realising that a new Rs 2,000 note is blueberry-flavoured.

It is more than likely that such a move can and will help the nation heal from possible future demonetisation drives.

2) After flavours, the next milestone is material. Sure, paper works for now. But 10 years from now, it is all too possible that there will no longer be a single tree on earth. What then? To be an innovator, the BJP has to devise a new form of currency altogether. Gone are the days of paper money. The future is cotton money, silk money, graphite money, leather money, marble money (you get the drift). The possibilities are endless.

3) But the future has more in store. Different flavours and materials are only the beginning. Like the Nano GPS chip that was supposed to be in the Rs 2,000 note, the future of currency depends on technology.

Millennials have short attention spans. You have to keep them hooked, even to something as essential as currency. The next step towards this goal is to have apps in the note. Even if it is something as rudimentary as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or the NaMo app. Otherwise, like the once indispensible hardy phones from Nokia, we will forget and reject them.

4) And finally, in the age of the internet, what is more important than communication is cats. Everyone loves cats. Cats are cute. Cats are cuddly. Cats are interesting. Cats are awesome. In the long term, currency should altogether be replaced by cats. But in the short term, more images of cats on currency notes, maybe in place of Mahatma Gandhi's. That'll do for now.

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