Why Dubai is excited about a date with Salman Khan

Dubai is Little India with better, cleaner and safer roads: This is one of the favourite jokes amongst NRIs here. We don't sleep on the roads, pavements, side lanes or whatever is the apt title for these spaces but we feel safer nevertheless. Both, that we like to drive the fanciest of machines at unbelievable speeds and accidents occur on the roads are stark truths of our lives here. The point being that we sitting here too have discussed and read everything possible on the jaded hit-and-run case of Salman Khan. We've argued over speeding laws and tickets, mocked at tweets and statuses, expressed our views on everything from Dabangg to Bajrangi Bhaijaan. So much so that till now every non-Indian in our circles knew only of Amitabh Bachchan, but now they know of "Bhai" too.

"You don't have to call him Bhai," we've heard an Indian woman tell a non-Indian: explaining that Bhai stands for brother and that Salman is an eligible 49-year-old bachelor. When asked, "But in India, don't people marry young? Forty-nine, ain't young by Indian wedding age parameters!" we've seen the same Indian woman mutter, "Phew! Why waste time over people who think Burberry is a bigger brand than Being Human."

So when in the middle of all this a daily tabloid informs us in a bold headline that "Salman has a date with Dubai", we find ourselves bemused and amused (The actor will be attending and performing at the inaugural Arab Indo Bollywood Awards, 2015.) The article goes on to suggest that Salman is back at work, already, after his "turbulent" jail-or-bail saga last week. "Will he be awarded a bravery title?" someone asks. "Good people make mistakes too," another adds. "There's clearly nothing new left to say on this issue," laments a third. True that.

Meanwhile, other sources say that his Eid biggie will see a song titled "Selfie", serving a dual purpose - It will be the director's way of introducing the bad boy with a heart of gold to the audience, and also Salman's way of thanking his fans for their support. "So, when he is back to performing and getting paid for his dancing, we too should get back to being entertained," reasons another non-Indian, while checking out the tickets for the event. The non-Indians are not bothered about us anymore, they've decided to leave us stranded in our noisy opinionated circles as we take stands on morality, justice and repentance.

If they're intrigued they've decided not to show. "What's the big deal? In your land, don't you worship both Ravana and Rama," someone was heard remarking. But Salman is neither of the two. No one is listening anymore. Public memory is short.

So the show date is set - it's on the 29th of the month, the details of the event will soon be splashed all over the town via radio, sponsored social media posts, print stories and more. Others will be performing alongside Khan, but he's the "man of the moment".

How many of us will hang our sunglasses on the back of our shirts or sway belt "ishtyle" is yet to be seen. How many of us will start fresh discussions on forgive vs forget, reel vs real, integrity vs worship or a certain case vs another will also unfold over lunch breaks over the next few days.

The only thing that's certain is that by the end of this month everyone in Dubai, irrespective of their nationality, would know the name of the man wearing floral shirts on billboards, selling outfits of a brand called Splash, and dancing to "Main toh Superman, Salman ka fan."