Remembering 'Jhinder Bandi', the film that 'Prem Ratan Dhan Payo' borrowed its ‘ratans’ from
Growing up in a “chhaposha madhyabityo” (middle-class) Bengali household, Sunday afternoons were made of aalo posto-bhaat, the occasional kosha mangsho, and an old classic on DD Bangla.
So old were these Bengali films, and so badly preserved, that the nuanced dialogues often got drowned behind a monotonous ‘whoosh-whoosh’ sound. “Khor-kata machine, cinema’r reel noy, (it’s not a film reel, but a hay-cutting machine)," Pishimaa would quip.
A particularly favourite Sunday-watch was the Uttam Kumar-Soumitra Chatterjee starrer, Jhinder Bandi, a 1961 adaptation of the novel, The Prisoner of Zenda.
In the clutter of Hawaii-shirt and dhoti-wearing romantic Bangla nayoks, the royally-dressed Uttam Kumar stood out.
If Apu’s aka Soumitra’s brooding stares in Apu’r Sansar (The World Of Apu) captured your heart, here his evil eyes and thin moustache would cut through your flesh. Such was the impact of the royal espionage called Jhinder Bandi.
Cut to November of 2015, and Prem Ratan Dhan Payo happened.
Not that I went in with any expectations. After all, it was a Sooraj Barjatya presentation, starring Salman Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Neil Nitin Mukesh and Swara Bhaskar. I simply went in, having memorised the hook step to the Prem Ratan Dhan Payo title track.
But, as I sat there in my corner seat, a strange feeling came upon me. A what-the-hell-are-you-doing feeling you get when you’re watching a horror film and cannot understand why they won’t switch on the damn light or why they won’t leave the house if they know it is haunted.
For some reason, the fact that PRDP was also ‘inspired’ by The Prisoner of Zenda had escaped me. Which made it impossible for me to sit there and not compare it to Jhinder Bandi — and my fond memories of a cosy Sunday afternoon were ruined forever.
Salman Khan is Uttam Kumar, and Neil Nitin Mukesh is Soumitra Chatterjee.
Need I say more?
Oh, but I must.
Sonam Kapoor is a benevolent princess who flies about in her personal helicopter helping the poor. Her lack of acting skills that resulted in a cartoonish coyness can only be surpassed by the fact that she has two left feet.
Neil is slightly better, but the makers had no faith in that, which is why they apparently started a rumour that Neil will soon be seen in an episode of Game Of Thrones. PRDP’s only connection to GoT was when you realise they had Indianised the GoT theme-tune and used it for a baraat scene.
Swara is mainly flaring her nostrils and breathing heavily throughout the film — first when she was angry on brother Salman, then when she forgave him after he manao-ed her and was engulfed with a feeling of love.
Salman Khan, however, was perfect.
Flawless.
His cute antics of a child masquerading as an adult were heart-warming. How can you not bhai-gasm when you see that face on screen?
If the makers had handled the script with half the precision with which Salman handles the quill, perhaps the ghost of Jhinder Bandi would not have had to rise from its grave and help a prisoner.
Also read: #19YOHumSaathSaathHain: Remembering the blackbuck that died