Regressive or liberating, the fate of the item number is Manzoor-E-Khuda

Simple, honest, deep, coherent — are all the things Bollywood isn’t. But the one thing that sets us apart from our western counterpart is our ability to break into a dance at any opportune moment. No, I’m not being sarcastic.

‘Cuz let’s face it — what Hollywood has achieved with films like La La Land today is something we’ve been doing for over a century — around trees, on the streets, even in dreams — dancing like no one’s watching.

But there’s one particular genre of song-and-dance that’s always raised eyebrows — the item number.

Now item numbers are not new, they have been around for as long as Hindi cinema has, although never identified as the ‘item’ earlier. When Helen summoned her lover, we learned that the erstwhile object of desire — a woman — has desires, too. When Parveen Babi shimmied in her shimmery gold body suit, we learned that a woman can enjoy being desirable, and can revel in it, too.

Over the decades, however, this particular ‘item’ has evolved, though cinema bhakts might argue that it’s actually a downward spiral.

Are item numbers condescending, regressive and sexist — or are they, in their own twisted way, liberating — is the question. The answer to which is perhaps still lying unattained somewhere around the metaphorical tree of knowledge.

In the meantime, Bollywood has established a symbiotic relationship with this golden egg-laying goose, and the proof lies in Katrina Kaif’s latest number, Manzoor-E-Khuda, from the upcoming Thugs Of Hindostan. This is only the second item number the ensemble cast can boast of, after Suraiyya, and a perfect example of the crowd-pulling and thereby money-making trope the item number is.

Why else would you need Katrina to get her intestines in a knot to entice the audience into a movie that brings Amitabh Bachchan and Aamir Khan together for the first time?

Could it be because distributors’ faith in star power, particularly male, is beginning to waver? One wonders...

Credit where due, how Katrina manages to look so graceful while pulling off Baba Ramdev-inspired dance moves, is beyond me.

Midway into the teaser, you realise that the choreography is superbly out of the era. Pre-Independence India could not have plagiarised belly dancing. But then, what’s Bollywood without creative liberty, right? After all, you don’t hear me complain about Katrina’s gold bra-let and dhoti-shots, do you?

Javed Akhtar once said, “Item numbers are like the monkey on the story’s back. They are of no consequence to the plotline. But they’re still there,” and perhaps no one has been able to describe this vestigial appendage better than Javed saab.

The other truth that runs parallel to this one, however, is the one that’s spoken through numbers — 460,032 views on Manzoor-E-Khuda since its release three hours ago, 9,568,817 views on Suraiyya since its release a week ago. And these are only teasers to the full song. For even the makers of Thugs of Hindostan know that the best is supposed to be saved for the last.

Also read: Katrina Kaif's selfie a second after waking up breaks the Internet!