To David Bowie, Prince and the year that changed my life
The first time I heard Prince was in 2005. I was 16 and had just finished watching Pretty Woman (also for the first time). It was imperative that I found the song Vivian was singing in the bubble bath… I wanted to charm a man like that some day.
What I found instead was music I couldn't stop listening to and a Pandora's box of lyrics I hoped my parents never found out about. My dad was a huge fan of Western music at a time, with a nice collection of cassettes. I decided it was only logical to never tell him I was addicted to this man who spoke of sex like it was the pivot of spirituality, beauty and love.
In hindsight, I believe that was the year that changed everything for me. A few months after Prince, I discovered David Bowie and there on began my journey to find my individuality.
Musically, Bowie and Prince didn't have much in common. Bowie wrote about the circus of life and Prince about how the circus made him feel.
In Changes, David Bowie wrote:
"And these children that you spit on,
As they try to change their worlds,
Are immune to your consultations,
They're quite aware of what they're going through."
And in Controversy, Prince wrote:
"People call me rude, I wish we all
were nude,
I wish there was no black and white,
I wish there were no rules."
What was common was both these musicians reminded us it was okay to be different and necessary to be ever-changing.
Their decision to reject every tag and stereotype that was stuck to them by virtue of their birth made them seem more real and believable. These were men with balls (pun intended), who wore mascara, earrings, heels, spandex, lipstick, bikini bottoms and plunging V-necks with confidence. They never seemed insecure or at conflict with their identity as "men".
Wearing clothes and colours our society typically associated with women, they boldly questioned our notions of masculinity. And the question they posed was damn right powerful - why must culture decide who we should be and how we must carry ourselves?
This commentary on society was pretty spot on, if you think about it. We live by these "rules" dictated by "adults" with "much more experience" and questioning these is most often looked down upon.
We declare that men don't/shouldn't cry and that women with a strong sexuality deserve rape and other sexual abuse. But who decided all these things for us? Who said it wasn't okay to be gay or that cross-dressing deserved ridicule? For that matter, who decided what a man is "supposed" to wear or how and why his attire is supposed to be different from women?
I have a theory that we create rules to feel secure and in control, because we actually have none. Life goes on and we don't know what happens tomorrow. So, we believe we can tackle tomorrow with "like-minded" people, people with the same "values" as ours. The familiarity makes us feel we're not alone and in this comfort we reject the idea that someone might want to live differently.
Bowie and Prince weren't perfect, mind you. During interviews, Bowie was often asked if he was gay or bisexual, and he almost always gave a different answer. And Prince had his phases of sexism and homophobia. But that was only further proof that they were real, that being perfect was actually not the aim to have in life, that what we really need is to simply flow with each day and be the best we can be.
These musicians were the torchbearers of fluidity - in gender, sexuality, identity, decisions, and everything else. Through their music and by just being themselves they showed us that life is always in a flux.
Together, they liberated many men and women - people with heavier baggage and unimaginable scars. The gay, the bisexual, the androgyne, the trans, the queer - everyone was welcome. It was their celebration of individualism and fluidity.