Everything you should expect from Apple iPhone 7

Apple is expected to drop its newest gift on the world aka best girlfriend/boyfriend in the world, aka the oxygen we deserved five years ago: aka the iPhone 7.

Off to a grand start:

Looking at my iPhone 5 like pic.twitter.com/XZ2vkMLtMi

— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) September 7, 2016

Condolences to everyone who bought the iPhone 6/6S recently. pic.twitter.com/QIKEBGtubx

— Shilpa Rathnam (@shilparathnam) September 7, 2016

Rumours mills are in overdrive, with the biggest feature in the iPhone 7 expected to be a new way to connect your earphones to the phone using Bluetooth, replacing the perfectly awesome older way to connect your earphones to the phone.

Another iconic feature is going to be "Rose Gold" redux as the new iPhone is expected to dazzle in a new colour, which is dark black, but because it's Apple and we live in a world of pretentious douchebaggery, black becomes "Piano black".

So get ready to throw away your earphones to buy a phone that comes at Rs 63,000 in black (Eep... PIANO black). Oh, and you have to stand in a queue for it. It'll be a tad faster and comes with a better camera in a smartphone universe where we reached peaked camera performance in late 2015.

The other major (and every bit expected) change is Apple's decision to make the iconic home button unclickable. The button is expected to perform the same functions as its earlier versions, just that now it'll be touch-sensitive.

So are we ready to bring home a smartphone revolution with these new exciting features?

Let's see what Twitter thinks:

iPhone 7 predictions on the Internet. pic.twitter.com/n6wBCvmFUR

— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) September 7, 2016

So, #iPhone7 being unveiled today. Why don't @Apple just give up now and accept that perfection can never be beaten? pic.twitter.com/UsgyJtB5sn

— Jake Humphrey (@mrjakehumphrey) September 7, 2016

#TheTruth

Eagerly awaiting iPhone 7 launch. If Tim Cook calls it "the best iPhone ever made", then I'll know there's nothing new.#ButWillBuyItAnyway

— Ramesh Srivats (@rameshsrivats) September 7, 2016

I request Modi to stop the release of #iPhone7 in India, it hurts our religious sentiments

— Shan (@klpe) September 7, 2016

Well "Indians" do tend to get oversensitive these days, so this seems quite reasonable. It's almost as if we are becoming anti-technology, that too in a time when our great leader is out there advertising for Reliance Jio. Jai ho Bharat ki!

Will the New iPhone 7 Make Dad Love You Again? Analysts Say "Yes"

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) September 6, 2016

This is the feature we need. Yes!

#iPhone7 cool, cool but what's your plan for this ? pic.twitter.com/yXl1LlNQQj

— Bobby Deol (@thebobbydeoll) September 7, 2016

And this.

To those preparing kidney jokes for later when the iPhone 7 comes out, DON'T.

— Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai) September 7, 2016

HATE THEM KIDNEY JOKES.

Apple replaces iPhone headphone jack with tiny mouth that periodically screams "REPENT!"

— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) September 7, 2016

Feeling so excited about iPhone 7 launch so I can finally buy an iPhone 6.

— Mr Mr Atulya Desi (@amreekandesi) September 7, 2016

#Gareebi

I really hope that the iPhone 7 doesn't have wireless earphones. I am not enough of an adult to keep them safe. pic.twitter.com/EvwZdvzMCL

— Gugulethu Mhlungu (@GugsM) September 7, 2016

#Bachhpan

I'm going to get the iPhone 7 who wants to buy my iPhone 6s Plus has my nudes 10,000 serious buyers only pls

— wendy le (@Misswendyle) September 7, 2016

*Retweets and posts are not endorsements*

*Hopes she's kidding*

*Like seriously*

*Aww*

Also read: iPhone 7 could end Apple's dream run as a smartphone giant