'Can you tell my parents I let them down? I'm going to die'
“Can you tell my parents that I have let them down, that I am not worthy of their love? I miss them. I am going to die Sriram, I am scared.”
I received this phone call from a young person a few years ago. I can never forget the anxiety and stress that my friends and I went through following this. It also made us understand how unprepared and ignorant we were in dealing with suicide.
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India has one of the highest rates of suicide in the world. Fifteen people commit suicide every hour. Every year, anywhere between 30 to 40 people per 1,00,000 Indians - aged between 15 and 29 - kill themselves. This means one out of three suicides in the country are committed by a young person.
Some common reasons stated by the National Crime Records Bureau for suicide among young people are love affairs, failure in examinations, dowry, abuse, illness and family problems.
“I am sad, tired, helpless, disillusioned, paranoid, unhappy; there’s no one adjective to describe my hurt,” a 19-year-old told me. In a world that makes unreasonable demands from them, young people are easily disillusioned about their education, relationships, jobs, sexuality, bullying and abuse.
Even with the explosion of social media, they do lack credible and accessible information on dealing with depression, rejection and anxiety. Many do not trust, or have the comfort of discussing their challenges with teachers and parents. They fear that their friends will judge them and may not accept them if they were to vocalise their anxieties. Given this background, my book, The Story of a Suicide, attempts to fill the information void.
In the novel, a young person decides to commit suicide. Who is this person? Why does he/she want to die? Where do they come from? Why are they upset, depressed and torn apart? And what drives them to it? Do they really die?
“I don't have the energy and will to live anymore Charu. I am tired of being a failure. I am tired of being defeated. I am tired of being heartbroken,” says Hari, one of the protagonists in the novel.
"Don’t worry. We can win their hearts, everyone, including your parents’. Please don’t give up on life. Well, if everyone who has a problem decided to commit suicide, this world would be filled with only dead people. There are people with problems far worse than yours but are still looking forward to a tomorrow with hope. Get up and prove that you are capable of something. Anything! Have faith. Have hope," replies Charu.
I sensed the same helplessness, hurt and dejection when I heard the young person’s voice on the phone years ago. She was crying for help, she was yearning to live, screaming to be understood, but tired of failing.
During my interactions, I found that youngsters are expressive, self-absorbed, independent, afraid, hurried, fearless, fame hungry, but surprisingly resilient. They need a listening ear, a reassuring touch and an inspiring push, not very hard but gentle enough to make them feel empowered so that they go on to create the lives that they truly want to.
Sources
2 - Accidental Deaths and Suicides in India 2008. New Delhi: Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India; 2010. National Crime Records Bureau.
3 - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3554961/