Our sexywala Indian lovers

It’s been that week when India has had to confront the national oscillating position on sexuality. We banned porn and then unbanned it and then re-banned parts of it again, basically typifying an average night in the life of the Indian male lover. Is it any wonder he lives a lifelong hesitation in dealing with the subject, when the average sex chat necessarily drags everyone from the Supreme Court to hapless clerks in the telecom department, to auntyji surfing the net in horror into a self-esteem crushing public discussion on what he shouldn’t be doing in the bedroom? If he thought he was a stud before, the discovery of 857 new State-discovered sites (that no longer thus qualify as "fringe") have now full-well deprived him of any such notion. I mean, let’s not even begin to imagine the stuff that the State does not know. It did not help that when the scared-to-death inexperienced lover checked into the nearest, cheapest available motel room at Madh for some practice/reassurance, what he was confronted with was Masaan-inspired khakhis who believed that if they weren’t getting any that night, why should anyone else? It was also an exercise that served to remind the film industry that some people do watch a film from the antagonist’s perspective.  Who knew? The police, who found that their usual crime fighting tactic of complaining to mummys, was simply not working, later confirmed that they were in fact moved to act on the complaints of local residents who found sexual activity around them was quite alright when it stopped at providing them with quick room rents, but they had to draw the line at their wives and partners turning into demanding nags. Just how much sexual prowess is an Indian man expected to exhibit? The law is currently chewing on this one. Fed up, men who turned to worshipping godwomen to seek succour were disconcerted to learn that that literally any woman loves lipstick and a short skirt and striking a pose and enjoys being carried to the nearest car, even if only to answer a police summons. The Indian woman, it is becoming evident, is an increasingly demanding and self aware creature, and there’s just no use complaining to the State, the police and the mummys of lovers about it anymore. Work on those moves men, chop, chop.